I want to ask a co-worker a professional question. I post the question on StackOverflow and mention him (like twitters @hisName) in the quesion , or in a special input box , like a a tag - then he gets a notification that he was asked a question , and can answer it - but everybody get to learn from it (same goes to just someone I think will know the answer , i.e , @Jeff Atwood )
Second scenario : I see a question that is very similar to mine , but not exactly , and the user who asked it might be able to help me with my follow up question . So I either mention him , or open a "followup" question , that both the original poster and the user that got most votes / accepted answer get a notification that someone asked a followup question.
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1) He's your coworker. Email him. Send him an instant message. Walk over to his cubicle. You have enough avenues for notifying him as it is, you don't need this website to act as another one of those means. By all means, ask the question on Stack Overflow if you feel it adds value, but you don't need Stack Overflow in order to talk to your coworker.
2) More generally, we do not want people addressing questions to specific people. Ask your question and let the community answer it. More often than not, you'll get the answer you need from the hundreds or thousands of active users following a given tag, and it may indeed be the individual that you would like to review your question. And if you truly desire that the individual be notified, you can check if he or she has provided a proper means of communication in his or her profile: a blog, website, or email address. If one is present, use those communication channels. We do not need Stack Overflow to be another point of redundancy.
Stack Overflow does not exist to pass messages back and forth, and users that find your question via Google do not want to see a summoning of Jon Skeet in your question. Jon Skeet will see your question, as he sees all questions before they are typed. For other users, we will see them if we are active on the site at the time, and the thousands of extremely knowledgable users will assist you as they are able.