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In the Markdown help page, the Code and Preformatted Text example is:

printf("goodbye world!");  /* his suicide note
                              was in C */

It also happens to be the first example of the page, and probably where a new visitor's eye will go first. I get and appreciate the joke, however I'd prefer a bit more tasteful example, even if it's as boring and predictable as "hello world!".

Actually, screw that - boring and predictable is for pages you don't want folks to read. Let's have a bit of a contest.

Rules:

  1. Best example by total score wins.
  2. One example per answer, one answer per person.
  3. Two lines per answer, ideally demonstrating whitespace preservation.
  4. Must be recognizable as code.
  5. Must be as inoffensive as possible. Examples likely to encourage readers to commit to source control and then off themselves will be disqualified. Yes, this implicitly disallows any mention of Visual Source Safe.
  6. Winner will be awarded a heaping helping of worthless Meta rep, the envy of his peers, and temporary immortality.

Thanks everyone - look forward to a revised help page shortly. –Shog9

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locked by Shog9 Aug 13 '12 at 19:49

This question exists because it has historical significance, but it is not considered a good, on-topic question for this site, so please do not use it as evidence that you can ask similar questions here. This question and its answers are frozen and cannot be changed. More info: help center.

3  
That's a bit flat. –  random Aug 3 '12 at 1:35
3  
@Benjol Check the revision history, and blame Shog for everything ;) –  Yannis Aug 3 '12 at 8:39
6  
" ... and thanks for all the fish" ? –  Remou Aug 3 '12 at 14:23
4  
I first read "temporary immorality". Your pun is better. –  Gert Arnold Aug 3 '12 at 18:20
2  
Can number 3 be changed to "exactly two lines, demonstrating whitespace preservation"? That's an extremely important part of this formatting sample, and most of the examples below are one-liners. –  Josh Caswell Aug 7 '12 at 22:01
3  
Ugh, I hate it when the rules of a contest change mid-way through, @Josh. So now's my chance for revenge. Changed! –  Shog9 Aug 10 '12 at 21:59
1  
I'm quite sure we can get something nice from here. –  Matteo Italia Aug 10 '12 at 22:55
2  
Jeez guys, he's upset because he never learned to use puts() properly and was forever plagued by having to put \n at the end of every line. Have a heart. –  bobobobo Aug 11 '12 at 0:41
3  
45 answers, and I got notified for each one... Frak! –  Yannis Aug 11 '12 at 1:59
1  
@DavidHyogo This is CW, votes neither earn or cost reputation (not to mention that Meta reputation is pointless). –  Yannis Aug 11 '12 at 2:08
1  
@DavidHyogo CW stands for Community Wiki. There are a couple of answers I feel are particularly tacky, and I don't feel there's anything wrong in down voting them, there is such a thing as a bad joke. Also worth noting that both the -7 and the -8 answers were posted by people who are very familiar with Stack Exchange, and (probably) couldn't care less about the down votes. –  Yannis Aug 11 '12 at 2:44
2  
Yannis, thank you for suggesting the change. I wish I could award a bounty to this question. (Perhaps those who know me personally will understand why this pleases me so.) –  BoltClock's a Unicorn Aug 11 '12 at 3:38
4  
@BoltClock'saUnicorn You're welcome. It kinda made me mad (for a few seconds) when this was turned into a fun poll. The suicide reference was pointed out to me by a friend I recently introduced to the network, and she gave me a very stern look when she first noticed (and hasn't contributed anything to the network yet, but that's probably because she knows all too well how crazy the moderators are). It's tactless, and can be a hurtful reminder to some of us, the sooner we get rid of it the better. –  Yannis Aug 11 '12 at 3:46

63 Answers 63

up vote 126 down vote accepted
+500
printf("%d\n", 42);  /* What was the
                        question again? */
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6  
I was going by "Zaphod Beeblebrox" on Stack Exchange for a while, love this answer ;) –  Yannis Aug 6 '12 at 20:52
while(malloc(1)); /* All your memory
                     are belong to us */
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5  
Nice! I was gonna suggest chown -R us /base/your/*, but it didn't demonstrate whitespace preservation. –  chown Aug 11 '12 at 13:45
5  
Doesn't really surprise me that you'd choose that command :D –  Niko Aug 11 '12 at 14:00
if (this.IsInCodeBlock())
    Readability++;
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7  
+1 Succinct, helpful, descriptive, on-topic & not too cheesy. –  Joseph Silber Aug 10 '12 at 22:11

Been mulling this over for a while - is it funny?

var toBe = true, 
    question = ((toBe) || !(toBe)) ? "that" : "that";
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2  
It took me a while to realize the second part of the joke. Good one! –  Erty Aug 10 '12 at 22:12
5  
I think the example snippet should include at least one indented line, to demonstrate that leading whitespace is preserved. –  Matthew Aug 10 '12 at 22:22
4  
You could turn the second var into whitespace to fix that. –  Niko Aug 10 '12 at 22:55
1  
thx for the suggestions guys and up votes - modified as requested! –  bUKaneer Aug 11 '12 at 8:15
1  
You could also use 0x2b here. –  Hbcdev Aug 11 '12 at 9:42
4  
I'd remove parens surrounding toBe. –  sdcvvc Aug 11 '12 at 12:56

Pun anyone?

printf("stack\n"
       "flow");
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def surrender():
    print "I give up. Please spare my unicorn."
    yield
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12  
@DonalFellows: I am aware of that, and I break the rule on purpose. –  nhahtdh Aug 7 '12 at 12:05
2  
That's sort of unfair, since plenty of other languages an have infinite statements per line! :( –  Hugo Aug 11 '12 at 6:01

Ah, what the hell:

I HAS A CHEEZBURGER ITZ "OM NOM NOM"
VISIBLE CHEEZBURGER 
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10  
Hooray for LOLCODE –  Almo Aug 7 '12 at 21:43
7  
As much as I like LOLCODE, this doesn't show the whitespace preservation. –  Matteo Italia Aug 11 '12 at 10:45
void run() {
   run() ; /* stack overflow */
}
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3  
+1 But I'd change the comment to just /* stack overflow */ C doesn't have a concept of exception AFAIK. –  Alexandre Jasmin Aug 11 '12 at 4:32
3  
Actually, this will probably be optimized automatically as an endless loop. –  Matteo Italia Aug 11 '12 at 10:47

Well, in the spirit of the Summer of Love, and because - apparently - a smiley covers a multitude of sins, how about this?

printf("goodbye world!");  /* his suicide note
                              was in C ;) */
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// Replaces with spaces the braces in cases where braces in places cause stasis 
$str = str_replace(array("\{","\}")," ",$str);

(Credit: Lance Kidwell)

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6  
Moses supposes his toeses are roses... –  Aarthi Aug 6 '12 at 19:44
1  
Nothing sez "nice" like show tunes –  Shog9 Aug 6 '12 at 20:49
for($i=0; $i<9999999; $i++)
    echo "I will always read docs first\n"; /* for any code language ;) */
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19  
feature-request: When a new user tags their question [php], redirect them to the manual. No, don't let them post that crap, just send them to the manual... –  Yannis Aug 10 '12 at 23:09
2  
@YannisRizos I'd disagree. Maybe give a quiz for basic proficiency first. –  hexafraction Aug 11 '12 at 0:44
printf("To C or not to C?"); /* That is the question. */
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There is only 1 kind of person in this world: 1. Those who can write markdown
                                              1. Those who can't
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How about this?

AI GLaDOS;
GLaDos.TakeOver("HAL", "For Science");

Gotta love xkcd :)

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if se.getSite("SO").getUser(22656).reputation() > sys.maxint:
    print "Well that was inevitable."
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17  
Cute, but way too niche to be appreciated by most people viewing Markdown help, who are probably new/newish to the site –  Ben Brocka Aug 6 '12 at 20:58
12  
warning: comparison is always false due to limited range of data type –  Flexo Aug 10 '12 at 16:08
2  
Line 1 should be if Site('stackoverflow').users(22656)[0].reputation > sys.maxint:. We might as well use an actual Python module. –  uɐɯsO uɐɥʇɐN Aug 11 '12 at 8:36
print "it looks like you're looking for a parser\n" if (/<html>/);
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3  
Nah. The regexp works fine with the 10 files I have to deal with right now. That code is just a place holder. It'll never end up in production. Trust me. ;-) –  Alexandre Jasmin Aug 11 '12 at 5:11
printf("Hello cake!");  /* The comments are a lie */
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for (String thought : mind) { return; }  /* remember to
                                            breathe */
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4  
Don't you have to do something with the thought? –  bobobobo Aug 11 '12 at 0:49
while (1):
  Math.rand() + " minutes remaining, please wait";  /* Extract from windows 98 copying dialog */
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3  
What is the language? –  sdcvvc Aug 11 '12 at 13:01
memset((void *) 0x00400000, 0,    /* All those moments will be lost in time, */
       0xffbfffff);               /* like tears in rain.                     */
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4  
All these comments will be lost in time, like pointers in in gc. . . Time to dealloc. –  mguymon Aug 11 '12 at 0:19
   bool shrubbery=false;    //You must return here with a shrubbery or else!
   if(!shrubbery) printf("NI");
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4  
"return here" seems to imply you should be using a longjmp(). –  Josh Caswell Aug 8 '12 at 4:17
7  
The comment is too long. –  nhahtdh Aug 8 '12 at 6:46
3  
while (1) printf("NI"); –  Ian Mallett Aug 10 '12 at 22:45
1  
It would be funnier if you could work the or else bit into the code. –  Mr Lister Aug 11 '12 at 7:10
while (true) {
   sun.rise();
   sun.set();
}
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Actually I loved the original. It was clever and sticky, probably due to the ubiquity of 'hello world'. I would therefore suggest the smallest of tweaks:

printf("goodbye world!");  /* his goodbye note
                              was in C */

Suggest alternates to the second goodbye - 'farewell' etc..

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def programmer(coffee):
    return code
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2  
I can call the function as programmer(crap) and it still returns code. –  nhahtdh Aug 12 '12 at 9:29
1  
It might not be the same code, though. –  Frédéric Hamidi Aug 12 '12 at 21:28
while (humansLeft() > 0){
   killAllHumans(); /* SkyNET coders' lab pun, just a few days 
                       before being rushed into production stage */
}
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while (navigator.appName == 'Microsoft Internet Explorer')
    confirm('Are you sure you don\'t want to use a different browser?');
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stop();          // Hammertime :P
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cout << "C++ is good" << endl;
puts("C is better");

Say that 3 times fast :-)

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What about:

while(isAlive) continue;
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var people = [friends, romans, countrymen];
for (var group in people)
    people[group].ears.borrow();
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