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In the Markdown help page, the Code and Preformatted Text example is:

printf("goodbye world!");  /* his suicide note
                              was in C */

It also happens to be the first example of the page, and probably where a new visitor's eye will go first. I get and appreciate the joke, however I'd prefer a bit more tasteful example, even if it's as boring and predictable as "hello world!".

Actually, screw that - boring and predictable is for pages you don't want folks to read. Let's have a bit of a contest.

Rules:

  1. Best example by total score wins.
  2. One example per answer, one answer per person.
  3. Two lines per answer, ideally demonstrating whitespace preservation.
  4. Must be recognizable as code.
  5. Must be as inoffensive as possible. Examples likely to encourage readers to commit to source control and then off themselves will be disqualified. Yes, this implicitly disallows any mention of Visual Source Safe.
  6. Winner will be awarded a heaping helping of worthless Meta rep, the envy of his peers, and temporary immortality.

Thanks everyone - look forward to a revised help page shortly. –Shog9

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locked by Shog9 Aug 13 '12 at 19:49

This question exists because it has historical significance, but it is not considered a good, on-topic question for this site, so please do not use it as evidence that you can ask similar questions here. This question and its answers are frozen and cannot be changed. More info: help center.

3  
That's a bit flat. –  random Aug 3 '12 at 1:35
3  
@Benjol Check the revision history, and blame Shog for everything ;) –  Yannis Aug 3 '12 at 8:39
6  
" ... and thanks for all the fish" ? –  Remou Aug 3 '12 at 14:23
4  
I first read "temporary immorality". Your pun is better. –  Gert Arnold Aug 3 '12 at 18:20
2  
Can number 3 be changed to "exactly two lines, demonstrating whitespace preservation"? That's an extremely important part of this formatting sample, and most of the examples below are one-liners. –  Josh Caswell Aug 7 '12 at 22:01
3  
Ugh, I hate it when the rules of a contest change mid-way through, @Josh. So now's my chance for revenge. Changed! –  Shog9 Aug 10 '12 at 21:59
1  
I'm quite sure we can get something nice from here. –  Matteo Italia Aug 10 '12 at 22:55
2  
Jeez guys, he's upset because he never learned to use puts() properly and was forever plagued by having to put \n at the end of every line. Have a heart. –  bobobobo Aug 11 '12 at 0:41
3  
45 answers, and I got notified for each one... Frak! –  Yannis Aug 11 '12 at 1:59
1  
@DavidHyogo This is CW, votes neither earn or cost reputation (not to mention that Meta reputation is pointless). –  Yannis Aug 11 '12 at 2:08
1  
@DavidHyogo CW stands for Community Wiki. There are a couple of answers I feel are particularly tacky, and I don't feel there's anything wrong in down voting them, there is such a thing as a bad joke. Also worth noting that both the -7 and the -8 answers were posted by people who are very familiar with Stack Exchange, and (probably) couldn't care less about the down votes. –  Yannis Aug 11 '12 at 2:44
2  
Yannis, thank you for suggesting the change. I wish I could award a bounty to this question. (Perhaps those who know me personally will understand why this pleases me so.) –  BoltClock's a Unicorn Aug 11 '12 at 3:38
4  
@BoltClock'saUnicorn You're welcome. It kinda made me mad (for a few seconds) when this was turned into a fun poll. The suicide reference was pointed out to me by a friend I recently introduced to the network, and she gave me a very stern look when she first noticed (and hasn't contributed anything to the network yet, but that's probably because she knows all too well how crazy the moderators are). It's tactless, and can be a hurtful reminder to some of us, the sooner we get rid of it the better. –  Yannis Aug 11 '12 at 3:46

63 Answers 63

Perhaps we should go with the classics.

                 /* β */
write(1, "values of \xCE\xB2 will give rise to dom!\n", 36);

[citation: "Odd Comments and Strange Doings in Unix"]

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 Challenge challenge;
 challenge.Accepted();
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if(system("make me a sandwich") == EPERM) /* What? Make it yourself. */
    system("sudo make me a sandwich");    /* Okay. */
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printf("My God... It's full of stars."); //Ultimate out.
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for (int i = 0; i < 1; i++)
    printf("Hello universe!\n");
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3  
grow_horn(kHornColorPearlyWhite); –  Josh Caswell Aug 6 '12 at 23:02
printf("World. You don't exist.");  /* Chair, World Solipsist Society, 
                                       IT Section*/
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A little ruby?

if desire == clarity
   puts inline ? "`" + code + "`" : (" " * 4) + code
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char* format_haiku[] = {"Indent as you please," "We optimize for code blocks"
                                                            "and beat poetry"};
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for f in `ls /your/base`; do 
    test `stat -f %Su "/your/base/${f}"` != "us" && chown -fLR us "/your/base/${f}"
done
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Label1.Caption := 'Yes I am using Delphi and proud of that';
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PRINT *,"Get off my lawn" !darn kids don't know a good language when they see one...
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for (score = 20; years == 7; ) { … }
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puts("Too many C programmers use printf for plain text strings!") ;
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8  
printf("Not enough C programmers use %s for plain text strings!", "puts"); –  David X. Random Aug 11 '12 at 0:45
3  
@DaveRandom printf( "%s", "printf - the only way to print!" ) ; –  bobobobo Aug 11 '12 at 6:18
while (1) 
    printf("Please Wait, it will take a second or two\n");
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def more_lovely_and_more_temperate(thee):
    return thou(thee) if thee > A_SUMMERS_DAY else A_SUMMERS_DAY
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my_love = "I YOU".split(" ") # split by SPACE
my_love.join(" LOVE ") # Joint by love
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if (has_coffee(programmer))
    programmer.can_write_code = 1;
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printf(4711 + ""); /* this code 
                    seems to smell */
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if(alpha_checksum("xkcd") == 42) // Testing alpha_checksum implementation
    printf("[PASS] -- %s succeeded","xkcd");

Can never have too much xkcd, right?

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public void DoOrDoNot() { Try(); }
[Obsolete()] public void Try() { }
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indent = is_code ? 4 : 0; // you can also use a tab space
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for (unsigned int i = 10; i >= 0; i--)
    char *foo = alloca(42);
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A silly meta-entry:

    std::string t, c; getline(getline(std::cin, t), c); std::cout << std::endl 
        << "    printf(\"" << t <<"\");\n        " << "/* " << c << " */\n";
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printf("So Long and thanks for all the fish!"); // see you at the Restaurant at the end of the Universe
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1  
The top voted (so far) answer is a HHGG reference, and there are a few others as well - also "So Long and thanks for all the fish!" was posted as a comment to the question. Although I didn't down vote, I imagine seeing the same references all over the place it gets old soon. –  Yannis Aug 11 '12 at 8:55

For introduction to static methods...

Mythical ChuckNorris = null;
ChuckNorris.Method("My name evades NPEs");
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11  
Chuck Norris doesn't point to anything... Everything points to Chuck Norris.. –  chown Aug 10 '12 at 23:44

Technically a one-liner

array_walk(
    array('your mom\'s bedroom', 'a bar with a lawyer and a clown', 'kansas'),
    function (&$mordor) { 
        echo 'One does not simply walk into '.$mordor.".\n"; // OH YEAH!?
    }
);
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Cue groaning...

while(true) 
     points += answerQuestion();   // Symbolic gesture                  
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for (int i = 0; i < 2; i += 1) { /* Cause two is
  a[i].aye();                       one two many */
}
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8  
You’ve commented out your own code. –  tchrist Aug 11 '12 at 13:42
if (i % 15 == 0) printf("FizzBuzz");  // think about why we have to ask 
                                      //     people to write FizzBuzz.
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my_problem=["stuck","under","flow"]
print '! '.join(my_problem)+ "! " # if you are pitying
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3  
I'm discovering my reputation cannot be negative. Good news!! –  LostInTranslation Aug 11 '12 at 0:20

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