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PS: You only get so many Iceland Fridays in a year, so make it special people ...

To start things off, a little refashioned seasonal tune:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Stack Exchange gave to me: 
12 inbox 'lerts 
11 chatty pings 
10 AnnaLears a-leaping 
9 spam bots posting 
8 weeks a feature 
7 little ponies 
6 Iceland Fridays 
5 gold badges 
4 frozen posts 
3 faq links 
2 question bans 
1 Community Manager - Aarthi (sung as arrrrrr teeeeeee)

How would you make the site more fun for this festive holiday? (Please keep all yuletide silliness restrained to this post, so it doesn't bleed over into all of meta and destroy business as usual)

share|improve this question
11  
Oh rollback night, the flags were brightly shining ... Just for inspiration and all. –  Tim Post Dec 13 '12 at 18:56
8  
tools.ietf.org/html/rfc1882 –  jcolebrand Dec 13 '12 at 19:00
6  
This might be my favorite meta post ever. –  Aarthi Dec 13 '12 at 19:17
33  
Can we rename the "close" link to "Bah, humbug" at least for this question? –  Josh Caswell Dec 13 '12 at 19:18
6  
Bah! Humbug. (Stupid character minimum.) –  TCPMAN.EXE Dec 13 '12 at 19:27
1  
I'm staking my diamond on this post until after the holiday season. This post will only be closed over my dead body until after then. =) –  casperOne Dec 13 '12 at 20:00
2  
You guys have far too much time on your hands, go back to work :p –  Rachel Dec 13 '12 at 20:07
    
@Rachel we broke into the eggnog early, come join us? :p –  jcolebrand Dec 13 '12 at 21:10
2  
@jcolebrand Eggnog huh... You sure that's what it was? :) –  Rachel Dec 13 '12 at 21:11
    
for the record, I'll mark an answer accepted in roughly two weeks. (yes, less than 6-8) –  jcolebrand Dec 13 '12 at 21:48
    
I request one for Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas is You. –  Matt Chan Dec 13 '12 at 22:21
    
There are no requests, there are you getting up off your duff, finishing your beer and writing it yourself ;-) –  jcolebrand Dec 13 '12 at 22:33
2  
It would be great if SO had a "humorless" badge, especially for people voting to close this question! –  Mark Harrison Dec 14 '12 at 2:35
    
Hi @MarkHarrison and welcome to [meta]. We're quite the interesting group here, but that whole "Iceland Friday" thing is why they are voting to close. I've got enough moderators that are tickled by this it'll have a few legs, at least till Christmas. You might want to do a little meta browsing on the many memes of meta, such as Always Friday in Iceland :D –  jcolebrand Dec 14 '12 at 2:40
1  
@jcolebrand BAH! Humbug! –  mikeTheLiar Dec 14 '12 at 15:37

27 Answers 27

up vote 10 down vote accepted

TTTO: Where are you Christmas

Where are you @rchern 
Why can't I find you 
Why have you gone away 
Where is the (: 
You used to bring me 
Why can't I hear music play 

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean @rchern changes too

Where are you @rchern
Do you remember
The one you used to know
@RebeccaChernoff's not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go

@rchern is here
Everywhere, oh
@rchern is here
If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like @rchern all the time

I feel you @rchern
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of @rchern
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you @rchern
Fill your heart with love (;
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5  
@rchern is not allowed out of the basement. –  Rebecca Chernoff Dec 13 '12 at 21:17

T'was the night before Christmas, when on all the sites
Not a shitstorm was blowing, not even small fights.
Upvotes were cast, and each newbie was greeted
With a nice and warm "Welcome!" so they would feel well-treated.

And then, in a twinkling, I noticed in chat,
A onebox appearing of a classic lolcat.
When I looked and I saw that the joke was quite lame,
A mod joined the room with his blue user name.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
With a life-long suspension for some spammy old jerk.
An emoticon posted then into the room
Made clear that this wouldn't be happy time's doom.

He sprang to his Twitter, and his followers read
A warm jolly greeting which in retweets they spread.
A nice "Happy Christmas", they all realized,
Is, despite narrow timeframe, not too localized.

share|improve this answer

To the tune of "White Christmas"

I'm dreaming of a FUN question
Just like the ones I used to know!
Where the site rules loosen
And answerers listen
To see upvotes on their posts

I'm dreaming of a FUN question
With every comment that I write!
May your badges be many and bright,
And may all your questions be all right!
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9  
Brought tears to my eyes. I can hear Bing's voice in my head as I read it... –  Shog9 Dec 13 '12 at 19:50

TTTO: I Had a Little Dreidel

I had a little question,  
But it was slightly flawed.  
And when the mean mods closed it,  
They said it was "Too Broad".

 [Chorus]
 Oh question question question
 They closed you, oh, so fast
 I thought I really liked this site
 But the liking didn't last

I had a little question,  
It was about the tropics.  
And when the mean mods closed it,  
They said it was "Off Topic".  

I had a little question,  
It bothered me a bit.  
But I guess I'm not alone,  
'Cuz it was an "Exact Duplicate"

I had a little question,
"I love regex expressions"
And when the mean mods closed it,
They said 'twas "Not A Real Question".

I had a little question,
"Do you find books instructive?"
And when the mean mods closed it,
They said 'twas "Not Constructive".

Still working on a chorus. Thanks @Manishearth for the chorus!

I got some reputation,
from answering a Q.
And now that I have got it,
I'm gonna (upvote|downvote) you!

I had some reputation,
For it I worked real hard.
But then it got reversed,
They said 'twas voter fraud!
share|improve this answer
2  
Added a chorus for you, remove it if you want :) –  Manishearth Dec 13 '12 at 19:30
3  
Alternate ending: Oh question question question/ They closed you pretty quick/ But I don't have to worry/ My skin is pretty thick –  Manishearth Dec 13 '12 at 19:30
    
On Travel, the tropics are on topic. (I assume.) –  Jon Ericson Dec 13 '12 at 19:31
4  
@JonEricson: GOLDEN RULE: DONT MIGRATE CRAP :P –  Manishearth Dec 13 '12 at 19:34
    
@JonEricson: Make the edit if you want... I'm not too sure though :S –  Manishearth Dec 13 '12 at 19:48

To the tune of "Jingle Bells"

  Dashing through the flags 
  In a hour clearing binge  
  O'er the users I skim  
  Nuking all the way (nuke nuke nuke)  

  Bans on spambots ding  
  Making flag counts bright  
  Oh what fun it is to run 
  A Stack Exchange SITE!
share|improve this answer
2  
I assume it's pronounced ex-cha-ange :-) –  ben is uǝq backwards Dec 13 '12 at 19:06
2  
@Ben A Stack Ex Change UH site! –  JNK Dec 13 '12 at 19:41

Silent Site

To the tune of "Silent Night"

Silent site  
Empty site  
All is calm  
All is quiet  

Till someone asks the very first thing  
Till then the site is pure and clean  

A new network site is born  
A new network site is born
share|improve this answer

The Carol of the Flags

To the tune of "Carol of the Bells"

Hark how the flags
Moderator flags
All seem to say
Handle us today

Spam bots are here
Bringing their cheer
To young and old
"Buy Warcraft Gold"

Flag flag flag flag
It's in the bag
With joyful song
Spam bots are gone

Not like there ain't
User complaints
From everywhere
Filling the air

Oh how they rag,
raising the flags,
o'er hill and dale,
telling their tale.

Gaily they ring
while people sing
songs of good cheer,
Meta is here.

Post on, post on, post on, post on Meta,
Post on, post on, post on, post on Meta

On on they send,
on without end,
their joyful tone
to every home.

Flag, flag, flag... flag!

share|improve this answer
1  
You sir, have just won the Internet. –  uɐɯsO uɐɥʇɐN Dec 15 '12 at 23:42

To the tune of "Good King Wenceslas"....

Good sir Jeff Atwood looked out 
On the site he coded, 
When the votes were all about, 
Fair and just and sorted. 

Brightly shone the server lights, 
arranged on their racks
Waiting there with bated breath
To burninate some tags
share|improve this answer

To the tune of Dreidel, Dreidel

I have a little question
Everyone can see
And when it gets closed
On meta I shall be

[Chorus]
Oh question question question
Everyone can see
And when it gets closed
On meta I shall be

It has a bunch of downvotes
And comments as well
I did not put much effort
in this you can tell

CHORUS

This site is so hateful
I want to start anew
I was just q-banned
http://goo.gl/C1Kwu
share|improve this answer
1  
Beat me by 57 seconds! –  HodofHod Dec 13 '12 at 19:23
4  
@HodofHod MERGE THEM TOGETHER TO MAKE THE ULTRA SONG. –  Aarthi Dec 13 '12 at 19:24
1  
@HodofHod: Lol... Yours is pretty nice as well :) –  Manishearth Dec 13 '12 at 19:25
    
@Manishearth Wow, same song, and pretty much the same idea! That's funny! :D –  HodofHod Dec 13 '12 at 19:27
    
@Aarthi What do you suppose the best way to do that is? Just append it? Any objections @Manishearth? –  HodofHod Dec 13 '12 at 19:28
    
@HodofHod: I think she means mixing our stanzas. No objections, but I have no clue how to do that--while both of us have closing as a theme, our lines of attack are different :S –  Manishearth Dec 13 '12 at 19:32
    
Yeah I was thinking something more Frankenstein. Aww, dunno if it's really feasible. –  Aarthi Dec 13 '12 at 19:33

To the tune of Last Christmas

Last Christmas, I made a great post,
But the very next day, you made it migrate
This year, to save me from tears,
I posted it on Quora

Once banned and twice flagged
I keep my distance but the inbox catches my eyes
Tell me Community♦, am I low-quality?
Well, it's pretty short, it doesn't surprise me

I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "Thank You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you upvoted now I know you'd fool me again


A crowded chat, mods everywhere
I'm hiding from them and their souls of ice
My God I thought this was someplace to spam on
Me? I guess I was user to flag on

A post on a site with rules in the faq
A mean downvoter that tore me apart
Oh oh
Now I've found Quora you'll never downvote again
share|improve this answer
    
We want the PSY mashup! –  Sklivvz Dec 13 '12 at 21:03
¡Feliz preguntar!  
¡Feliz preguntar!  
¡Feliz preguntar!  
Prospero recado y contestar.

I want to wish you a Famous Question,  
I want to wish you a Famous Question,  
I want to wish you a Famous Question,  
from the bottom of my heart.
share|improve this answer

to the tune of "Mr. Grinch" from the cartoon

You’re a mean one Casperone
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
And as charming as an eel,
Casperone!
You're a bad banana,
With a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Casperone!
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul,
Casperone!
I wouldn't touch you
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a vile one, Casperone!
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile,
Casperone!
Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile!

You're a foul one, Casperone!
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Casperone!
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk!"

You're a rotter, Casperone!
You're the king of sinful sots!
Your heart's a dead tomato,
Splotched with moldy, purple spots,
Casperone!
Your soul is an apalling dump-heap,
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!

You nauseate me, Casperone!
With a nauseous super naus!
You're a crooked jerky jockey,
And you drive a crooked hoss,
Casperone!
You're a three-decker sauerkraut
and toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce! 
share|improve this answer
11  
Bah... Simple find/replace of Mr. Grinch --> Casperone. I call shenanigans. –  Robert Harvey Dec 13 '12 at 19:57
    
@RobertHarvey If it works it works! –  JNK Dec 13 '12 at 19:57
6  
@RobertHarvey An honorable entry, you have no Christmas spirit good Sir! –  casperOne Dec 13 '12 at 19:58
2  
I pour egg nog over you all. –  Robert Harvey Dec 13 '12 at 20:01
    
@RobertHarvey I would not complain about that at all. –  JNK Dec 13 '12 at 20:01

From @Aarthi

To the tune of "Chanukah, Oh Chanukah"

Oh diamond mod, oh diamond mod
Please migrate my question
I posted it on Server Fault
And they're downvoting to oblivion

They're gathering the close votes
They're coming for me
Lots of snarky comments
My rep's now 93

And while I am flailing
Their chatroom is laughing so loud
A vote for each one
They're having such fun
Laughing at my misery
share|improve this answer

To the tune of I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day and with deepest apologies to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

I heard the mods on Stack Exchange
Their old, familiar carols slay,
and wild and sweet
The words repeat
"It's always Friday in Iceland"!

...

Then pealed the mods more loud and deep:
"We are not dead, nor do we sleep;
The Fun shall fail,
The Close prevail,
No more Friday in Iceland."

(I don't have the heart to mess with the other verses.)

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To the tune of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer:

A poster got run over by a moderator
Asking crappy questions on Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as banning,
But as for me and Bubbles, we believe.

He'd been readin' too much Reddit
And we begged him please to go.
But he'd hated moderation
So he left Stack Overflow.

When they found him Christmas mornin'
At the chaotic Meta site
There were downvotes on his profile
And incriminatin' comments overnight.

Now we're all so proud of Bubbles.
She's a giant talking sign.
See her there in the convention
Promoting to the folks in line.

[Feel free to continue this epic saga. In my mind, Bubbles and the poster end up getting married, but the path to get us there is convoluted.]

share|improve this answer
    
I kinda started over on the second line and probably redirected the trust of the song altogether in the third. I'm probably missing some history. Who's Bubbles? –  Jon Ericson Dec 13 '12 at 19:38
    
@JonEricson Bubbles is the Stack Exchange mascot. –  Aarthi Dec 13 '12 at 19:43
    
blog.stackoverflow.com/2011/10/meet-bubbles maybe he got run over as well. –  Wyck Dec 13 '12 at 19:43
    
@Wyck Technically, Bubbles is a girl. –  Aarthi Dec 13 '12 at 19:44
    
That is probably the worst mascot I've ever seen lol –  Rachel Dec 13 '12 at 20:19
    
Bubbles, unfortunately, is also the name from a UK TV series called Little Britian. Her wiki page describes her appearance - not something you'd want to Google at work. –  tombull89 Dec 14 '12 at 14:16
    
I knew a stripper named Bubbles once. –  staticx Dec 18 '12 at 20:33

To the tune of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus":

I saw newbies posting junk replies
underneath my Good Question last night.
They didn't see me note
in the comments that I wrote
that they should all substantiate as a matter of rote.

Then I saw n00bs defending their replies
underneath my comments on their posts.
Oh, what relief it would have been
if diamond mods had seen,
commented, and nuked those posts last night.

share|improve this answer

To the tune of "Christmas in Hollis" by Run-D.M.C.:

It was December 24th and dark on Stack Overflow
When I seen the mods chilling all ready to go
I approached them very slowly, they should not be reckoned
Looked at this one, oh my God, a real diamond

But then I was illin' because the man was a ghost
With a bag of cleared flags, the mod with the most
So I turned my head a second and the man was gone
But he left his user profile smack dead on the lawn

I picked the profile up after he was long gone
Looked at the info and it cold said casperOne
A million dead flags in it, cold hundreds of pings
Enough to get a mug, matching shirt with ease

But I'd never steal from casper, 'cause that ain't right
So I was going home to mail it back to him that night
But when I got home I bugged, 'cause under the tree
Was a mod message from casper and a suspension for me
share|improve this answer
    
Takeaway from watching the video: Simon makes a goofy-looking user-interface. –  Jon Ericson Dec 13 '12 at 21:51
    
@JonEricson Depending on the purpose. For what it does, the interface is perfect. One of the most influential hip-hop groups of all time and that's the takeaway? =P –  casperOne Dec 13 '12 at 21:57
    
Yeah. The only reason the device got so popular was because it's the perfect interface. Let me put it this way: I admire your willingness to listen to this enough times to write a parody. ;-) –  Jon Ericson Dec 13 '12 at 23:21
    
@JonEricson Given my musical preferences, the willingness came easily. –  casperOne Dec 14 '12 at 15:17

To the tune of "Angels We Have Heard on High"....

System banners placed on high, 
Visible on every page. 
When meta needs users' eyes, 
This is used despite warnings.

Chat event, event, event
Happening weekly.
Chat event, event, event
Happening weekly.
share|improve this answer

My version of the Dreidel song.

rchern, rchern, rchern
With her I am okay
but when the site is broken
Oh, rchern I will blame

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With apologies to Christina Rosetti.

In the close vote queue, I am overwhelmed,
50k posts and counting, it just never ends.
Flags are falling, flag on flag, flag on flag,
In the close vote queue, once again.

Sorry, I'm just too tired, of this endless flood,
Makes me want to flee away, when I see the crud.
In the close vote queue, it never will suffice,
Just can't make the effort, maybe I'm too nice.

Enough for me, of trawling, night and day,
Trying to work out context, getting lost on the way.
Enough of just not knowing, or caring any more,
And that awful feeling: I've been here before.

Mods and 10k users, may have gathered there,
All those 1-rep users, getting in their hair,
But it's so much more fun, to be doing this,
Hanging out on meta, not staring into the abyss.

What then, should I give up, tired as I am?
If I were a diamond, I would close all as spam.
If I were Jeff Atwood, I would do my part:
Nuke the whole 4 million, and hit restart.

Not too happy with some parts, please feel free to improve!

share|improve this answer
    
+1000000 for Nuke the whole 4 million, and hit restart –  Pëkka Dec 14 '12 at 8:27
    
@Benjol that's why I asked them to make it CW from the start :D So we can have fun and hopefully peacefully improve each other's works :D –  jcolebrand Dec 14 '12 at 15:33

To the tune of "Silver Bells"

Grammar edits, helpful edits!
Formatting code blocks
In the post there's a feeling
of collaboration

Editors laughing,
approvers passing,
Validating edit after edit,
On every profile you see...


Silver Badge
Silver Badge,
It's editing time
In the Ex-change!

Ding-a-ling,
Your global inbox rings,
Encouraging helpful behavior!
share|improve this answer

To the tune of "Last Christmas"

Stack Christmas, I answered with heart

The very next post, you checked that hollow tick mark

This year to save me from tears, I gave my answers to metaaaaa

share|improve this answer

This song excerpt requires surprisingly few edits (To the tune of "Feed the World" naturally):

Spare a thought this yuletide for the deprived
If the table was turned would your post survive

Here's to them

Hiding behind that glowing monitor

You ain't gotta feel guilt just selfless
Give a little help to the helpless

[Repeated ad nauseum]
Feed the trolls
Let them know it's Christmastime again
share|improve this answer
2  
If the table was turned would your post survive is so deep, man. I don't think I'll be able to case a downvote all day. –  Pëkka Dec 14 '12 at 8:34
Gurus and newbies engaged in discussion
Users from Instanbul, Holland, and Russia
A search engine more relevant than Google or Bing,
This is why Stack is my favorite thing.
share|improve this answer

Notes from A Stack Exchange Editor's Diary

Jumped onto StackExchange this festive season,
Hoping to bump my points - well that was *a* reason.
But my spritely cheer soon began to fade,
As poorly asked questions my screen began to invade.
"Pls help me! My program crashing!" one exclaimed,
But without code that damn question was maimed.
Found another one promoting a product,
Had to raise a flag to show that really sucked.
My blood it started to slowly boil,
"Why do this site people come to soil?"
But just then as the clock struck midnight,
I received a notification - and squealed in delight!
My first gold badge I finally earned!
I received my gift - the one I yearned.
"Copy Editor" I wore proudly on my virtual chest,
And all that anger it was laid to rest.
With renewed zest I got back to improving,
Appreciating the good posts - and the bad ones removing.
share|improve this answer

Last question

you gave me your vote

But the very next day,

you took it away

Next post

To save me from tears

I'll answer to someone special

share|improve this answer

Perhaps a contest in which users can submit holiday flair designs; the winner(s)' would be available to any current user.

P.S. Sorry for the lack of song, but the question doesn't require it.

share|improve this answer
1  
This was last year... –  ben is uǝq backwards Jul 3 '13 at 7:41

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