The comments within the answers here were relevant to helping solve the problem, but not fully (vanilla CSS, not nested LESS), and additionally were not posted by the original answerer. I have since solved the LESS issue, and thus the entire problem.
Should I accept the closest answer / the one that helped me the most and leave it at that? (this has already been awarded a bounty)
Should I write and accept my own answer that compiles it all?
Should I alter the question with a compiled solution and accept the closest answer?