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We've all seen, and most have participated in, more than one open/close war. Things are said. Feelings are hurt. It's very personal for many of us, and yet so impersonal due to the lack of face time with your accusers.

So I'm asking that SO implement full-contact moderation. Once a question gets 5 votes to close, and 5 subsequent votes to open, the question is locked until the affected parties meet in a brawl type setting, where they can duke it out.

This way others online can see which side has greater numbers or is more likely to win (due to the impact of their arguments on the opposing force) and choose which side of the debate they'll take in real time.

There may be implementation details to be worked out, but I think the idea is generally sound and wanted to open a discussion before officially making a feature request.

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Added the appropriate tag :) – Tyler Carter Jan 15 '10 at 23:02
+1 For a sense of humor. – C. Ross Feb 19 '10 at 20:38
up vote 21 down vote accepted

There is an accepted, recognized and proven way to solve any dispute.

You fight like a dairy farmer.

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+1, Guybrush Threepwood and Largo are missed! – Aiden Bell Jan 16 '10 at 1:19
Oh yeah, well you fight like a cow! I sense my next name change ... Only ... Guybrush ... or LeChuck? – John Rudy Jan 16 '10 at 1:56
Who downvoted Monkey Island? Poor soul, I will pray for you ... – John Rudy Jan 16 '10 at 7:16
"How appropriate, you fight like a cow!" – Blorgbeard Jan 16 '10 at 20:52
@blorgbeard: Dangit, you're right; I screwed up the first part of it! Ah, good times. I've been (off-and-on) playing the redo of Monkey Island on XBox Arcade recently ... Such fond memories. – John Rudy Jan 17 '10 at 7:19
cough I think StackOverflow should also add the alt-text of an image as a title tag, so that xkcd-style tooltips work :P – Michael Stum Jan 17 '10 at 9:50
"People fall at my feet when they see me coming." – Gnoupi Jan 17 '10 at 13:28
@Gnoupi: "Even BEFORE they smell your breath?" – John Rudy Jan 17 '10 at 15:41
@Michael: I get the tooltip on hover. – John Rudy Jan 17 '10 at 15:42
Love that game. – Georg Schölly Jan 17 '10 at 16:54
I added it after getting the hint on how to do that on :-) – Michael Stum Jan 17 '10 at 17:03
I just coughed cider. A true blast from my mis-spent past. – Marc Gravell Jan 17 '10 at 22:29
@Marc You can make it your mis-spent present again :-) – Michael Stum Jan 17 '10 at 23:11
@Michael: Ah yes, that's the remix I'm referring to -- available on XBox Live too. :) – John Rudy Jan 18 '10 at 3:30
Hurray, a winner is you! – Adam Davis Mar 17 '10 at 3:31



Am I right in thinking a serious answer isn't required?

[There was a massive body of text here. But I think I missed the tone of the question]

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I know what this is from but I do have to say that (unfortunately) this is how I see every single Wikipedia editor in my mind. – Esko Jan 17 '10 at 20:36
This is how I see anyone on the internet, until I know otherwise. Better safe than sorry! – Aiden Bell Jan 18 '10 at 17:15

The first rule of Fight ClubStack Overflow is that you do not talk about Fight ClubStack Overflow.

Now I see a lot of new faces tonight, so it looks like some of you have been breaking rule #1.

It has to be bare-knuckle brawling until one opponent taps out. Two men to a fight. Only one fight at a time. And if this your first night, you have to fight.

Boss: Is that your blood?

Protagonist: Some of it, yeah.

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Paint it red ... no .. paint it green ... fight!

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Damn, a man-purse! – Aiden Bell Jan 16 '10 at 1:21

It may not need be fisticuffs. I'm thinking that some participants will choose other games, such as Mario Kart, Rock Paper Scissors, Roshambo, tug-o-war, Battleship, etc.

What forms of brawling do you prefer?
What limitations do we need to deal with? (ie, if there are 20+ people involved, a mario kart tournament can take quite a bit of time, but a roshambo free-for-all might only take seconds ...)

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Fastest to log in to SO and vote to close 5 questions? – Jon Seigel Jan 15 '10 at 21:48
Two men enter, one man leaves. Thunderdome – raven Jan 15 '10 at 23:05
What's Roshambo? – mmyers Jan 15 '10 at 23:06
@mmyers: first of all, it's spelled rochambeau, second of all, – raven Jan 15 '10 at 23:19

It would take a little work to implement but perhaps a workable solution would be for it to turn into a poll (after 5 votes each way), showing how many votes each side has. Once there's a preset differential, say 10 clear votes, the question can be locked as either closed or opened, with any further voting disabled.

Being a global website punch-ups can be a little difficult to organise. Besides which, cattle prods at 5 paces is probably more fun and less damaging.

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+1 for cattle prods. – Adam Davis Mar 17 '10 at 0:03

I'd be up for Fake Plastic Rock.

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