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Pre Edit 4:

Pointing out that thread's popularity is a direct result of programming community interest in said subject, and that someone likely stands to become rich and/or famous by solving the problem none of the answers, save my own, came even close to resolving.

Long salutation describing my programming experience and implying that I am a programming genius even though I was educated as a philosopher. Ill-fitting analogy explaining that philosophers make better programmers than classically trained programmers.

Meandering post describing a minor issue and suggesting a poor/incomplete solution while also inferring that those who disagree are blatant rep whores.

Edit:

Major edit that changes the whole point of the question, nullifying any existing answers, and openly marveling at inability of others to understand this trivial but super-important request.

Edit 2:

Response to detracters, repeating what I already said in the comments.

Edit 3:

Reluctant acquiescence to community, asserting that community is still wrong but accepting that it cannot help me any further, and I'm leaving unsatisfied. Pointed comments directed towards specific users or answers publicly belittling them. Thanks to those who obviously understand the issue even though their solutions were grossly inadequate, calling into question their schooling and ancestry.

Complimentary closing,
Signature

P.S. Suggestion that people study My favorite Programming Book before answering such advanced questions as these on SO.

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locked by Robert Harvey Apr 2 '12 at 20:24

This question exists because it has historical significance, but it is not considered a good, on-topic question for this site, so please do not use it as evidence that you can ask similar questions here. This question and its answers are frozen and cannot be changed. More info: help center.

7  
preemptive comment asking that people give it serious consideration rather than closing it. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 5:24
5  
Is this the bit where I edit the question title only to find it rolled back 10 minutes later? –  Erik Mar 12 '10 at 5:25
22  
follow up comment pointing out a dupe, then explaining how it's not an exact dupe by splitting hairs. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 5:25
11  
What exactly are you asking? –  Josh K Mar 12 '10 at 5:25
17  
Comment about a missing screenshot which may or may not be required to further clarify the point. –  random Mar 12 '10 at 5:26
63  
Snarky comment about OP's 37% accept rate. –  mmyers Mar 12 '10 at 5:36
8  
@mmyers brash invitation to respond to all my questions with an answer I can accept while implying that the accept rate metric is ludicrous and should be abolished. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 5:39
17  
@random, @pollyanna, @mmyers - generic comedic response alluding to a recent XKCD strip or /. post –  quack quixote Mar 12 '10 at 5:47
19  
superfluous request that this be made community wiki, or moved to SuperUser, implication being OP doesn't know how to use the computars. –  D_N Mar 12 '10 at 6:08
8  
Comment that starts out pithy, but then morphs into something which would be better posted as an answer. –  ChrisF Mar 12 '10 at 13:59
48  
So can we now flag every question on the site as a duplicate of this one? –  mmyers Mar 12 '10 at 18:53
7  
Another superfluous request that this be made community wiki, or moved to SuperUser, implication being OP doesn't know how to use the computars. (With apologies to D_N, but a comment like that has to be repeated. Preferably more than once.) –  David Thornley Mar 13 '10 at 18:23
6  
Comment bemoaning the general decline of SO since the halcyon days of beta. –  Michael Petrotta Mar 14 '10 at 6:30
16  
Is this homework? We won't do your work for you! –  Ether May 12 '10 at 0:23
10  
Smug observation that this isn't even a problem on Linux/OS X –  madlep May 12 '10 at 3:32

44 Answers 44

up vote 39 down vote accepted

Answer that points out that your Architecture is obviously wrong and questioning why on earth you are still using this stupid technology when your problem could be solved by one line of jQuery code.

$.butterfly({
    aLongList: ofParameters,
    whichAre: notExplained
});
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7  
insincere thanks for example. subtly sarcastic comments that perhaps if one read through the whole existing Q&A thread one might see that this solution has already been suggested and rejected in comments here meta.stackexchange.com/questions/41976/… and in an answer here meta.stackexchange.com/questions/41976/… –  Adam Davis Mar 13 '10 at 16:54
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(Flagged as offensive and downvoted because I hate OPs that accept low-voted answers.) –  Gnome Mar 24 '10 at 23:09
3  
Comment made months later pointing out potential reference to popular topical online web-comic: link to said web-comic (profession of love for particular plain text editor) –  snicker May 12 '10 at 15:17
6  
Year-later post pointing out that your answer overlooks serious issue A and B, which are comprehensively handled in (this post of my own)[meta.stackexchange.com/questions/41976/…, which is itself an answer on a year-old question. An obvious and likely successful ploy to get the Necromancer badge. –  ErikE Sep 24 '10 at 17:02

Quick yet canned answer developed in my mind from reading the tags and 2 words of the title of your post.

Edit:

More offtopic and irrelevant vague things in response to @Pollyanna's comment

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4  
immediate terse response requesting that poster read the question prior to posting. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 5:30
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point by point rebuttal of everything in answer ending with, "but yeah, you're basically right." –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 5:34
27  
+1 without even reading the answer because everyone else seems to be upvoting it. –  Erik Mar 12 '10 at 5:38
24  
Downvoted because I want my answer to win. –  b.roth Mar 12 '10 at 14:14
2  
Expendable comment just to say "me, too" on highest-voted post. –  Robert Cartaino Mar 12 '10 at 17:53
3  
insincere apology that this answer wasn't selected with vague explanation as to why a lessor voted answer was accepted. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 18:24
2  
Criticism of @Pollyanna's spelling. –  mmyers Mar 12 '10 at 18:52
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Necrocomment asking why you don't just use jQuery as the accepted answer did –  jcolebrand May 12 '10 at 0:20

Dismissive reply by megapoint user.

Statement of annoyance about having to explain himself by way of this update. Introduction to some ASCII art that elucidates nothing about the problem but does reveal why you ought to upvote him.

-----------------------------------
|                ___      _______/|
|           ____/   \    /        |
|          /         \  /         |
|         /           \/          |
|        /              *         |
|   /\  /                         |
|  /  \/                          |
| /    *                          |
|/                                |
-----------------------------------
my knowledge
* note that downturns and plateaus were result of listening to other people

-----------------------------------
|                                 |
|                                 |
|                                 |
|                                 |
|                                 |
|                                 |
|  _______________________________|
| / *                             |
|/                                |
-----------------------------------
your knowledge 
* note that uptick is from one of my previous answers
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1  
@Pollyanna adoption of tone that suggests but does not claim insider knowledge about something X that has tangential application to the problem. (Or does one @user when being this snooty? I dunno.) –  D_N Mar 12 '10 at 5:38
2  
+1 sympathetic upvote with wink - we megapoint users gotta stick together... –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 5:41
3  
Criticize @Pollyana for sympathy upvote. –  perbert Mar 12 '10 at 20:37
11  
Removing downvote to recover my own points, even though I allude its because you made your answer more useful. –  Erik Mar 12 '10 at 23:14

Answers own problem with the same solution already in the question. Dismisses other answers out of hand as "unworkable" and "overly simplistic."

Reiterates ideal solution again while challenging others to prove otherwise with real data, while providing no proof of this perspective.

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3  
disgust that no one has voted this obviously correct answer above the currently highest voted answer in the last 5 minutes. inference of low intelligence of readers. pretense that I will be objective when I select the accepted answer. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 5:56
1  
admonishment for failing to consider security implications inherent in the presented solution. reminders of the many situations where solution is downright dangerous. –  quack quixote Mar 12 '10 at 6:00
2  
@~quack dismissal of concerns as rare and unlikely –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 6:03
1  
@pollyanna: vehement objection to dismissal; explicit enumeration of prerequisites for safety: point 1, point 2, ...point n. concluding opinion that OP is a doodie-head and resulting product will corrupt any filesystem it touches. –  quack quixote Mar 12 '10 at 6:14
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@~quack subtle implication that your maternal progenitor corrupts any file system she touches without being so blatant as to raise the moderator's ire. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 6:17
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Flagging for moderation attention because somebody used a word that I consider inappropriate. –  perbert Mar 12 '10 at 20:39
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@Pollyanna subtle implication that your maternal progenitor has a width property so large, your window needs two scroll bars –  Pëkka Mar 12 '10 at 23:27
2  
@pekka dismissal of your comment as an obvious jealousy of my might and wisdom. Indication that I don't participate in such reprehensible behavior, but that if I did I would likely point out that the female of your nativity requires a distributed peer-to-peer service to move from location to location. –  Adam Davis Mar 13 '10 at 1:34
2  
@Pollyanna suggestion that if engaged in a mud wrestling fight, the female of my nativity would with utmost certainty be able to wrap the mammary glands of your maternal progenitor around her neck, after which she would be able to force her to the ground with high velocity. Assertion of a high probability that your maternal progenitor would sustain considerable dental damage in the process, requiring medical attention over an extended period of time. Expression of suspicion that your family has no sufficient health insurance to pay for that attention. Expression of gloat about this fact. –  Pëkka Mar 13 '10 at 1:58
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@Pollyanna also, assertion that the calculation of your maternal progenitor's Body Mass Index by a health insurance company broke a number of unit tests in said company's in-house software. –  Pëkka Mar 13 '10 at 2:01
2  
@Pekka, @Pollyanna: description of gouging own eyes out while screaming bloody epithets at you both for the mental image of your maternal progenitors mud wrestling. announces plans for self-trepanation in the near future to get rid of said image. invites you both to enjoy your hot dates with Mr./Ms. Right(Hand), gives you the one-fingered salute, and logs off. –  quack quixote Mar 13 '10 at 3:08
1  
Leaving a comment explaining why I just downvoted this answer which usually contains a mixture of SQL Injections, poor performance/scaling, incompatibilities to many clients or causes the system to become self aware and killing Unicorns. Editing this comment in response to a later comment that points out there are no Unicorns to clarify that the non-existence of Unicorns just proves my point about the self-aware system. –  Michael Stum Mar 13 '10 at 15:46
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@Pollyanna: +1 for killing unicorns. perhaps this solution is worthy after all. –  quack quixote Mar 14 '10 at 0:05

Answer that nearly copies an upvoted answer, with a few clarifying comments, in hopes of getting some cheap upvotes.

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14  
upvote based on desire to bury other answers rather than value of this answer. –  D_N Mar 12 '10 at 6:10

Yes.

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7  
Declaration of brilliance. –  D_N Mar 12 '10 at 6:32
4  
+1 for being the only user that understands the issue. shares desire that everyone were as intellectually sound as gnovice. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 6:32
13  
incredulous comment about how this obvious answer hadn't already been posted, which is really just a thinly veiled chance to gloat. –  gnostradamus Mar 12 '10 at 6:37
2  
Witty comment complaining about how you're able to post such a short answer, while I keep getting the "answer too short" error. –  fretje Jun 23 '11 at 21:13

I have same problem any update?

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12  
flagged for moderator attention as non-answer –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 17:52
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Indication of intention to ask question on meta.meta.stackoverflow.com to ask what should be done about all these useless "noise" answers. –  HAL 9000 Mar 12 '10 at 18:25
2  
spite-flagged @Yacoby's comment for noise –  D_N Mar 12 '10 at 22:58
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Expression of also having the exact same problem. Request to E-Mail instructions how to solve problem post haste to Yahoo E-Mail address. Assurance of gratitude. –  Pëkka Mar 13 '10 at 2:13
2  
Should be a comment, not an answer! :) –  uɐɯsO uɐɥʇɐN May 30 '11 at 17:30

Answer that disagrees but doesn't actually provide any evidence as to why the suggestion made but the OP is wrong, trying to get the upvotes from the people that disagree with it but doesn't want to downvote the question to avoid the loss of a reputation point.

  • Invented reason the system works good as it is 1
  • Invented reason the system works good as it is 2
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3  
assertion that I am right with links to several questions which don't prove anything but would take too long to read and understand so most people will give up before figuring out I'm BS'ing –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 17:59

A thinly veiled lmgtfy link that gets the OP to memorable quotes from Pulp Fiction.

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5  
exasperation at google link indicating that I already googled and that if google had the answer I wouldn't have bothered with the yahoos on SO. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 17:57
5  
Smug, self-righteous comment expressing disapproval with your obviously manipulative and remorseless attempt to subvert the system that blocks LMGTFY links. –  Robert Harvey Mar 12 '10 at 19:42
2  
@Robert sonorous complaint about censoring out links. –  perbert Mar 12 '10 at 20:42
2  
@Pollyanna: rant about how unsupportive the community is, about how we are loosing valuable contributors by not allowing us to use signatures, how you are all deletionists and censors, and storm out of the thread saying I will never come back again. –  perbert Mar 13 '10 at 14:52
1  
Goes to meta to post question stating that they'll never ever use SO again because of the Nazi community. –  perbert Mar 13 '10 at 14:53
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Keeps on using SO after realizing that the alternative is changing my sex expertly. –  perbert Mar 13 '10 at 14:54
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Comment shorter than 15 chars. –  perbert Mar 13 '10 at 20:39
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Meta user with <101 rep creates a question tagged bug about short comments. –  perbert Mar 13 '10 at 20:39

Late arriving answer seemingly ignored by everyone.

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perfunctory comment indicating that OP read this answer, but doesn't feel it's otherwise worth responding to. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 17:54
4  
Ignoring answer even though the presented solution is just perfect, but buried in the middle of more "loud" answers and because I kinda gave up on this question due to the comparison of several peoples' mothers to Multithreaded-COM Servers that communicate using CORBA. –  Michael Stum Mar 13 '10 at 17:42

A nicely worded, but pretty useless answer, which mainly gets its upvotes due to extensive use of Markdown formatting and by linking a lot of stuff, both related and unrelated to the problem in question.

Useless title to draw more attention

A lot of basic information about the questioner's problem. Mostly, it repeats what everyone who is familiar with the tags of the question already knows, but in more exuberant manner, providing the basic information at least twice. It also contains scarce code inclusions to look programming-related. The post also contains a few formatting tricks, including:

  • Unnumbered lists, with item captions in bold. Items of such list should contain a lot of text, so those who reads the question will be sure, that the user is an expert in his area, and has analyzed a lot of alternatives.
  • Numbered lists, which, of course, may be omitted, since users do not like numbers
  • Links, both related and unrelated. At least one link to the blog of the user.
  • A piece of code in the language requested by OP, the piece being originally written in other language by a lowly voted answer.

The post has at least two sections to justify the use of big font, which is used just to make the post look bigger.

Another useless title

In the second section of such a post code snippets are posted. The algorithm was not originally written by the author. But he rewrote it in C#, and since most users know C#, it would be easier for them to upvote a post that contains the language they are familiar with.

public class Hello
{
   public static void Main()
   {
      System.Console.WriteLine("Hello, World!");
   }
}

Of course, this code, having been written quickly while the post is still under attention, contains a number of issues that were thankfully discussed on SO before. The users links the other stackoverflow question, and one more, just in case, so that others upvote him for his effort.

And of course, a hesitating expression of hope that this post helps, knowing that what it helps is only his own reputation counter.

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15  
+1 for the big titles, the many links, and for correct use of comma in "Hello, World!" –  b.roth Mar 12 '10 at 17:11
60  
acceptance of answer because it's too long to read, but obvious effort indicates that it must be valuable. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 18:01
33  
+1 Because I'm too lazy to scroll down any further. –  Robert Cartaino Mar 12 '10 at 18:29
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Gratuitous edit of inconsequential grammar or spelling mistake, even though the answer has already been accepted and nobody really cares. –  Robert Harvey Mar 12 '10 at 20:06
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Awwww, I care! –  mmyers Mar 12 '10 at 20:12
2  
Daily vote limit reached; come back in 3 hours. –  perbert Mar 12 '10 at 20:34
17  
Keen observation that author is trying to perform a task. Suggestion that author should totally drop that and try a lightweight JavaScript library that emphasizes interaction between JavaScript and HTML. –  snicker Mar 12 '10 at 23:38
1  
@snicker applause to previous speaker. Expression of confidence that there exists a plugin for that framework that will execute the task at hand to the OP's full satisfaction. –  Pëkka Mar 13 '10 at 0:22
2  
@Harvey, mendacious gratitude for useful edits that only make this post closer to community wiki threshold. –  Pavel Shved Mar 13 '10 at 5:39
1  
Completely inappropriate +1 for this blatantly incorrect answer just because it's on the cusp of earning the Populist badge for its OP and I think that's cool. –  Pops Sep 19 '11 at 14:30

Pile-on answer that adds nothing new, posted in the hopes that hanging onto the coattails of what looks like a high-vote question will score some cheap points.

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3  
Comment pointing out differences between this and other answers in a favorable way, missing the point entirely. –  David Thornley Mar 13 '10 at 18:28

Answer that addresses only the title and ignore the content of the post, poster didn't even read the other answers.

(Example: Try jQuery)

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2  
Objection to putting 'idiot' in <code> tags, suggesting this is an attack on front-end developers. –  D_N Mar 13 '10 at 22:49

Vague gratitude expressed to the OP because I have the same problem. Except on a different system, with different commands involved. But perhaps you can solve my problem too?

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6  
Explanation of the SO Q&A system vis-à-vis a traditional forum, ending with a suggestion to learn how to read the FAQ. Apology for possibly sounding rude. –  mmyers Mar 12 '10 at 20:05
1  
-1, suggestion that this comment-posted-as-answer be posted as a comment. –  quack quixote Mar 12 '10 at 22:38

Gratuitous reply to fulfill need for camaraderie. Inserting random humor with only tangential relevance to the original question.

Feigning humor failing. Must insert superfluous comic:

alt text

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3  
threat to flag for moderator due to lack of attribution and hotlinking while implying spammyness of answer. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 18:00
2  
@Pollyanna - Snarky reply to irritate detractors without addressing any of the issues raised. –  Robert Cartaino Mar 12 '10 at 18:07
1  
@Robert livid with anger, invokes godwin's law –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 18:31
3  
@Pollyanna: Only a comment nazi would invoke Godwin's Law. –  mmyers Mar 12 '10 at 18:46
1  
Interjection about not really getting the comic strip. –  Pëkka Mar 12 '10 at 23:54
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Self-important assertion that four-letter webcomics have lately jumped the shark. –  Jimmy Mar 13 '10 at 0:58
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Link to four letter comic with main subject of comic being a jumping shark. –  Adam Davis Mar 13 '10 at 1:35
2  
@pekka explanation of comic strip with insinuation that programmers of a certain quality would certainly understand it without explanation. link to four letter comic that describes how dissecting a joke kills it. –  Adam Davis Mar 13 '10 at 14:07
1  
Random link in long chain of comments without any explanation of context: emailexpressdirect.com/worst-email-newsletter-mistakes –  Robert Cartaino Mar 13 '10 at 14:58
3  
@Pollyanna Retort that if that was the punch line, it really wasn't that great a joke. Claim to have realized that obvious part instantly, but to have been looking for a more original, deeper meaning behind it. –  Pëkka Mar 13 '10 at 15:34

An obligatory non-answer answer that was only posted so that maybe some random passerby will understand why I cannot earn any meta rep and vote this answer up.

Update:

after reading the well reasoned arguments you outlined in comments.

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2  
+1 for smiley. feigned concern for problems described in answer. –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 20:26
18  
-1 for racist smileys. –  mmyers Mar 12 '10 at 21:25
2  
Expression of weariness of interpretation of racist motives into totally innocent symbols. –  Pëkka Mar 13 '10 at 2:21
3  
@Sinan: You're not playing this very well... ;) –  mmyers Mar 13 '10 at 3:02
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Complaint that people can delete comments and leave later comments looking foolish. –  mmyers Mar 13 '10 at 5:26
5  
@mmyers Who? Me? What? When? Where? Really? and further attempts at trying to hide embarrassment at being caught red handed after misunderstanding earlier comment. –  Sinan Ünür Mar 13 '10 at 11:43

Quick answer posted just before voting to close the answer.

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1  
comment insinuating that you are a hypocrite and likely a Rep whore, and pointing you here for further discussion of your unsavory behavior: meta.stackexchange.com/questions/4283/… –  gnostradamus Mar 12 '10 at 20:57
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belittling your knowledge of so - you can't vote to close answers –  Adam Davis Mar 12 '10 at 22:10

Answer deliberately close to but not quite correct, designed to get the occasional downvote to be canceled by the occasional sympathy upvote, with the intention of picking up some easy rep.

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12  
Your depth of strategy disturbs the balance of my brain juices. –  D_N Mar 12 '10 at 22:54
1  
Technically, some of you guys should be downvoting this. So far, I've got four upvotes and no downvotes. –  David Thornley Mar 13 '10 at 18:26
2  
comment pointing out that i would downvote you but i don't have enough rep yet. –  Robert S Ciaccio Jan 8 '11 at 22:23

Answer Posted After An Answer is Already Accepted With Superfluous Formatting


Introductory statement about familiarity with the problem. Short background on experience in the field of study related to the question.

Anecdotal short story about how post was just noticed today because generic personal life event has prevented poster from participating in discussions! Statement of confidence that others can relate.

Section about how if extenuating circumstances had not interfered, I would have posted almost the exact same answer. Short response stating that the accepted answer is extremely valuable. Multiple praises of accepted answer. Transition to enumerated list of reasons why accepted answer is great:

  • Praise of accepted answer's formatting clearly being emulated in this answer
  • Acknowledgment of skills and knowledge of the author of accepted answer
  • Statement about brevity and conciseness

Long winded response about what accepted answer would look like if extenuating circumstances had not interfered. Subtle yet sharp jabs at author of accepted answer inferring that my answer would have been better

EDIT:

Pre-emptive edit in response to expected comments regarding freehand circles, waffles, or ponies


Image stressing points mentioned above further


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1  
Pointing out that you forgot to include waffle-ponies. –  D_N Mar 12 '10 at 23:02
2  
Pointing out that this really belongs on Meta. –  Pëkka Mar 12 '10 at 23:25
2  
@Pekka: statement of disgust at blatant attempts to slander my name with accusations of rep-whoring. Recommendation that you refrain from further comment. Emotionless response devoid of personality insisting that the rest of your day affect your mood favorably –  snicker Mar 12 '10 at 23:54
1  
@snicker announcing that you are wrong and they are yum-yum delicious. –  D_N Mar 12 '10 at 23:56
2  
@snicker Cool diagnosis, outlining how your overly emotional response must be sign of serious issues. Feignedly symphatetic recommendation of getting some help. Subtle insinuation of your desperate need for rep points being an expression of a deeper deficit in your personal life. Confirmation that the rest of my day is indeed affecting my mood very favourably. Sideways mention of being a total success with women. Subtle implication that you are not. Announcement about having a hot date tonight, and therefore inability to spend any more time in this discussion –  Pëkka Mar 13 '10 at 0:13
2  
+1 for freehand circles. –  Adam Davis Feb 6 '11 at 4:17

Six to eight weeks.

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flippant agreement with specific assessment but encouragement to expand on answer with specific methods used to reach this approximation. –  Adam Davis Mar 13 '10 at 16:51
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@Pollyanna: specific methods used to reach that approximation will take six to eight weeks to enumerate. –  quack quixote Mar 14 '10 at 2:17

Edit which completely changes the meaning, wording, and essence of the post due to its prior poor grammar and spelling.

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1  
expression of hope that you don't mind changes. suggestion to revert them if new edit is unsatisfactory with thinly veiled pride that you won't consider it due to my stellar re-phrasing of your post. –  Adam Davis Mar 14 '10 at 3:44

Snarky non-answer that should have been a comment.

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7  
snarky offhand comment that I will delete in a couple months to avoid looking like an asshole. –  Robert S Ciaccio Jan 8 '11 at 22:22

Answer of poor inglish is formed and explanations running in intersection directions of longitude but rainfalls in code perfectwise question answering:

public class Hello {
    public static void Main() {
       System.Console.WriteLine("Hello, World!");}
}
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5  
Brillant is answer for the upvote it must. k thx bye. –  scunliffe May 12 '10 at 0:57

Especially badly written, or wrong answer with the sole purpose of gathering 3 downvotes, so I can delete this answer again and harvest myself a nice and shiny [Peer Pressure] badge.

Of course made CW so I won't lose any of those precious internet dollar points in the process.

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3  
+1 just to frustrate obvious badge-whoring. flagged for mod attention so the answerer's posting history can be examined for sockpuppetry. –  quack quixote Mar 14 '10 at 2:19
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Comment telling this anwer will be deleted and thanking the folks for the even more shiny [Disciplined] badge. –  fretje Mar 14 '10 at 18:48

Pre-edit #1: Ramble about figuring out at a much later date how relevant this topic is: how to hash.... And then the importance of discussing this topic: How do I answer....

A crappy answer that has nothing to do with the question - but who cares because it's at the bottom of the list.

EDIT: Attempt to explain how the question was misunderstood and overly apologetic - and go into great detail how rude the biting comments are while explaining that we are all human and tend to make mistakes - except for the OP, of course.

EDIT2: Blame my misunderstanding on @David Thornley's awful editing of the question. Explain how my answer would have been correct if someone had left the question alone...I think - maybe...

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Unexplainably late reply with poor spelind and grammer by low-rep user that includes a suspicious spammy-looking but still ambiguous link to something that might actually solve the problem, if only the web page didn't make your eyes bleed and head explode from looking at it because the background is yellow and the site uses frames and looks like it might be a direct word-for-word translation from the original Chinese.

Unnecessary closing greeting,
Vaguely foreign-sounding first name

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2  
flag offensive due to lack of eyebleach for website. –  Adam Davis Mar 25 '10 at 1:05

Another answer posted after the topic has run out of steam which has no hopes of getting any upvotes.

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8  
I would upvote it, but I can't for two reasons, one of them obvious –  jmfsg May 12 '10 at 0:38
1  
Downvoted without comment on the reasons for doing so. –  jamiei May 12 '10 at 9:02

Useless reply to a random answer as if this was phpBB.

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Is anyone still working on this problem after two months? If you find the answer, please send teh codez to me at gnome@gnomemail.test.

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The question relies on a wrong concept, you really shouldn't do it that way.
Now, I can't give any sample code and couldn't use the tools I recommend if my life dependent on it, but here's a link to a popular post, in hope my bald head reflects some of its shine.

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