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Dear Mr. Balpha,

It has come to the attention of the AWESOME committee that you have recently exceeded your awesome quotient. Normally this letter would simply serve as a warning and reminder as to your obligations in the LEAGUE OF AWESOME with regards to your display of AWESOME, however your recent display(s) of AWESOME have exceeded the limit beyond all normal care and due reason.

It is with heavy hearts that we are forced to take the following, regrettable, drastic action:

Mr. Balpha, on this day, March 31st, 2010, and henceforth, your membership in THE LEAGUE OF AWESOME is terminated, including all benefits, responsibilities, and services as described in your recently violated contract. You are hereby stricken from all records and are required to turn in your membership license or proof of its destruction. Also any and all other artifacts, including the LOA belt buckle, is to be returned immediately.

We realize that this may come as a shock, and is quite inopportune given the FRIENDS OF THE LEAGUE OF AWESOME cruise you signed up for just around the corner, however we like to think of this as an opportunity - we believe you may in fact be destined (and eligible) for the LUDICROUSLY AWESOME WAFFLERS, and we have sent notice to them of your recent, shall we say, "escapades".

Best Regards,
The Committee of THE LEAGUE OF AWESOME

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I sense a new meme. –  C. Ross Apr 2 '10 at 12:27
5  
@C. Ross - you don't "sense" memes. You witness their presence after they established themselves. In fact the only fact you called it a meme before it even is just ruined all its chances to become one some day. –  Gnoupi Apr 12 '10 at 8:11
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Meme, meme, meme. Wow, these unicorn questions on the right are killing me. –  Mark C Apr 12 '10 at 20:02

3 Answers 3

DEAR VICTIMS,

This is the Office of the Federal Bureau Of Investigation Benin-Republic Monetary Center, We the (IMF) Received a signal of all the Victims from the Scammers in all West Africa and also your past lost of huge amount of money for past years all about.After going through our file we have to hand over your file to the America Government that are Compensating all the people that have fall in Victim in West Africa.

Therefore the report we got from the American Government is that you are to be Compensate with the amount of (ONE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATE DOLLAR ) ($1,500,000USD) Thought you might have spent less or more than that given amount, But with due respect we are apologizing to you to kindly accept this offer as part of the Government Compensating all the Victim over their Lost money.

Dear Victim: At this moment we have gotten an approval from the Ministry Of Finance Dr Mark Padonou to start the transfer Immediately. Be inform that we have started working with Bank Of Africa (B.O.A) All Victim file has been sent to the BOA DEPARTMENT FOR PAYMENT.

Your payment Instrument has been passed to the Bank Of Africa (B.O..A) to start transferring your onward sum amount of ($1,500,000USD) Into your Bank Account of your Choice, For more Explanation you are therefore advice to contact the Banker In charge below with the below details and make your own statement for the next step.

1: YOUR FULL NAME:
2: YOUR HOME ADDRESS:
3: YOUR COUNTRY:
4: YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER:
5 A COPY OF YOUR PASSPORT:
6.YOUR AGE
7.OCCUPATION:

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3  
Yes! I won the African lottery! All they need is my bank account number to wire me the funds! –  Earlz Mar 31 '10 at 23:58
    
Oh, wow, thank you for the nostalgic reminder. –  Mark C Apr 12 '10 at 20:03

Dear Mr. Balpha,

with interest we, the Sodality of Stunningly Magnificent, have followed your recent expulsion from the organization calling itself "the league of awesome". We have kept close tabs on you, and we all feel that it is time to present you with the once-in-a-lifetime chance that is a permanent position in our very exclusive, highly secretive consortium. We do not constrain our members to arbitrary levels of magnificence under the threat of exclusion like other, more mundane associations do. To us, it is literally the sky that is the limit.

In response to Mr. Anna's smears, here's a few examples what the Sodality has to offer.

  • Free Drinks

  • A free-range Unicorn habitat in the caribbean

  • Means to escort Unicorns through Air Traffic Control to any location in continental europe. International destinations can be arranged

  • An on-call unicorn veterinarian 24 hours a day

If you are interested, please make use of the mass transit system of your city, carrying a salmon-coloured "Financial Times" newspaper.

Please make sure you choose the right transit system. (We are aware of the shortfalls of that particular system but even an organization as influential as ours can afford total control only for one railway, and that one came cheap.)

Ride the system and change trains frequently until you hear a polite announcement through the train's loudspeakers emitted by the actual train driver. That will be your cue. Alight at the next stop. We will be waiting for you.

Sincerely,

a friend

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1  
Does that mean that if you go into space, you are past the limit? –  Tyler Carter Apr 12 '10 at 0:00
    
Oh great, another phishing scam. Might as well change your name to Pekka419! –  Adam Davis Apr 12 '10 at 1:04
    
Okay, I tried to get a salmon-colo(u)red FT, but they only had them in pink. And the BSR personnel was very confused when I asked to use their mass transit system. Now what? –  balpha Apr 12 '10 at 5:38
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Mr. @balpha please refer to my updated message. Mr. @Polly is actually a very shady character himself, so it's no wonder he feels compelled to sling some mud. Did you know he was indicted in the UK in the 1960s for embezzlement from the funds of the League of jolly good? –  Pëkka Apr 12 '10 at 8:14
    
Mr. @Chacha does the fact that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin are members of our Sodality answer your question sufficiently? –  Pëkka Apr 12 '10 at 9:41

If there is a vacancy for the Friends of the league of Awesome, how might one apply? There may be some folks who think this is a league that requires applying for admission.

Others simply know you are in the league when you become awesome....

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14  
I'm afraid applications for THE LEAGUE OF AWESOME are only accepted from current members of THE LEAGUE OF PRETTY COOL and, on rare occasion, members of THE LEAGUE OF I GUESS YOU'RE ALRIGHT. –  Adam Davis Mar 31 '10 at 23:53
    
@Pollyanna How is my acceptance letter going? How many more members have to sign it for me to get in? –  Tyler Carter Mar 31 '10 at 23:55
    
To be awesome, you must first be awesome. –  Earlz Mar 31 '10 at 23:59
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@Chacha102 - Thank you for your inquiry. We do not comment on pending applications. As stated in your application packet you can expect a response from the committee in six to eight weeks. Your application might take longer due to the ongoing investigation into your alleged membership in THE LEAGUE OF THE MORE THAN JUST A LITTLE ODD, but you should still receive a response within six to eight weeks of the normal six to eight weeks response time. –  Adam Davis Apr 1 '10 at 0:03
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first rule of awesome club is do not talk about awesome club. –  quack quixote Apr 1 '10 at 1:42
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@Pollyanna: THE LEGUE OF CORECT SPELERS wishes to inform you that "alright" is not a word. –  mmyers Apr 2 '10 at 16:37
    
@mmyers - turns out that the league of pretty alright Tunis their name is pretty alright as-is. –  Adam Davis Apr 2 '10 at 17:13
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@Pollyanna: I am now extremely confused. What are they doing in North Africa with misspelled words? –  mmyers Apr 2 '10 at 18:40
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@pollyanna: records of the LEAGUE of the TOTALLY bat**** INSANE indicate that chacha102's application was declined, due to his membership in the LEAGUE OF THE MORE THAN JUST A LITTLE ODD and his habitual flights to Tunis. –  quack quixote Apr 12 '10 at 3:17

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