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Please post your favorite unicorn recipes. Here's mine:

Marinate four filets of prime unicorn meat in the following:

  • One cup of aged balsamic vinegar
  • Two tablespoons of rosemary
  • Eight large peppercorns, whole
  • Two heavy pinches of salt
  • If desired, add ground unicorn horn for a little extra kick

Marinate for two hours, or overnight for best results.

Sear the meat on both sides, and finish in the oven at 350 degrees.

Serve with hearty vegetables and a delicate red wine, such as Burgundy.

A simple but elegant dinner for any special occasion.

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closed as off topic by random Feb 11 '12 at 20:51

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Am I missing something? –  muntoo Apr 1 '11 at 0:03
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-1. Why? 'cause I haven't seen all the downvote animations yet. –  Pops Apr 1 '11 at 0:21
    
@mubtoo - yes. The great taste of unicorn. –  user27414 Apr 1 '11 at 1:17
1  
this question belong to cooking.stackexchange ;-) –  DavRob60 Apr 1 '11 at 14:26
    
As a vegetarian I had to downvote this ... (plus the animation is fun to watch). –  GreenMatt Apr 1 '11 at 16:12

5 Answers 5

up vote 16 down vote accepted

I find that a Unicorn Sandwich is a tasty and sparkly snack, and easy to make before lunch. Some Canned Unicorn Meat, fresh tomatoes, lettuce, and sparkle sauce between whole grain bread. Delicious and Nutritious! alt text

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These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Claim that product is "nutritious" applies only to disembodied head consumers. Consumption by other customers may result in out-of-body experiences, which in some cases have become permanent. Other rules and restrictions may apply; see inside of can for full details. –  Pops Nov 22 '11 at 15:40

I am so sick of unicorns. Nowadays the only magical beast I can tolerate eating is Pegasus wings.

They have all the taste of chicken wings (plus the taste of turkey wings, dodo wings and John Wayne) except they're like the size of a fucking horse or something. I shit you not, they are huge. One wing is an entire meal for my family.

To bring out the real taste of a delicious Pegasus wing, here's how I typically go about preparing it:

  • Two lemons
  • One pegasus (two wings). I buy mine at Wal-Mart.
  • Many flakes of stardust
  • Aquatic kangaroo tail extract
  • Two limes
  • One secret ingredient (whose identity is a secret)

I start by ripping off the wings using a chain saw, then filing off the horn. I defeather the wings and marinade them in a mixture of lime, kangaroo extract, stardust flakes, lemon and water for about three hours.

While that is marinading I mix the secret ingredient with grated horn that I removed earlier, making a sauce. I take the shoes from the Pegasus's feet and put them on a barbecue to get them toasty (this will be used later).

Also, I generally swear at the top of my lungs at the leftover meat (legs, cheeks, pancreas, etc), because bad words are like searing pain to a being as beautiful (and delicious) as a Pegasus. Usually about after 30 minutes of swearing the meat is done. Your mileage may vary, as people have told me that my swearing is incredibly efficient (usually I just think about how much I hate Jeff Atwood and it just comes pouring out). If you are mute, then this isn't really a viable way to cook your meat, so I suggest downloading any of Bill Cosby's comedy acts. That motherfucker cooks Pegasus in no time.

Now the wings should be marinated, so I grab the white-hot horseshoes and hang the wings over an open flame using them. Two shoes per wing. Being so delicate, the wings are usually done in about four minutes. Overdoing them will completely ruin the John Wayne flavour and it will end up tasting like Jonathan Sampson instead. Trust me, you don't want that to happen.

Cut and serve with coleslaw and potato salad. Serves eight.

The hooves and bones go the dog. If you don't have a dog, you can make a nice musical instrument out of most of the Pegasus's bones since they're hollow like a bird's.

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I bet the secret ingredient is the shattered dreams of a little girl. –  user27414 Apr 1 '10 at 14:43
    
I prefer brontosaurus ribs for feeding a large family. –  Dennis Williamson Apr 2 '10 at 1:26

Savory Unicorn & Heirloom Tomato Bruschetta Recipe

  • 14 ounce can of Unicorn Meat
  • 6 or 7 ripe plum tomatoes (about 1 1/2 lbs)
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
  • 6-8 fresh basil leaves, chopped.
  • Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
  • 1 baguette French bread or similar Italian bread
  • 1/4 cup olive oil

    Chop the tomatoes and mix with garlic, olive oil, vinegar, salt, pepper and basil leaves. Toss well. Slice baguettes on the diagonal about 1/2" thick. Brush each slice with olive oil and add a full rounded tablespoon of Unicorn Meat, spreading over each piece. Toast in a 450 degree directly on over rock for 5-6 minutes.

    Do a little funky dance by yourself until it's toasted. Serve with tomato mixture and some flaming Absinthe.

I often take this bruschetta on a picnic with a soft, homemade Unicorn feta cheese or homemade pesto. Wash it down with a nice October 2009 bottle of Thunderbird fortified wine (or three).

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I think I'd prefer the funky dance on the side. –  Jeff Yates Apr 1 '10 at 17:41

Unicorn steaks should always be cooked rare.

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+1 for being punny! –  Dennis Williamson Apr 2 '10 at 1:27
    
This is actually from Dilbert, but the Dilbert search engine is never accessible when I need it. –  mmyers Apr 2 '10 at 15:21
    

Unicorn fajitas for me please.

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