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I had a problem very similar to this one

How to avoid awarding half of the bounty to wrong answer?

while the bounty of this question:

Stubbing / mocking a database in .Net

I tried to clarify my point several times, but my impression was, that my comments had simply been ignored. As no answer was useful at all, I "answered" my question by myself, telling that no answer was useful. That answer was downvoted several times and then deleted - which I can understand from a technical point of view.

But what would be my correct behaviour from a social point of view?

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Correct behaviour, I think, is to not accept an answer unless it is the one you want. The community may vote answers up or down, but the one thing you have total control over is where you place your tick.

If no answers earn the tick from you, then that is that. I think if you had managed to find the correct solution and posted that you could quite reasonably accept your own answer, but answering with a "No answer works for me" post and accepting that I feel is socially wrong.

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But what would be my correct behaviour from a social point of view?

I have no knowledge in the field, so I can't judge the quality and correctness of your question, but if your question is as solid as it looks, you did the unpopular, but ultimately right thing. I don't think the downvotes were justified. Denying a bounty after asking an unclear question would be not okay; but denying it because everyone involved didn't answer your question, it is totally acceptable.

It was, however, technically the right thing for the mod to delete your answer because you didn't give an answer. I'm not sure what to recommend here. If it were me, and it happened to me again, I'd probably do the same thing again, at the risk of getting downvoted.

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