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The system should search posts for the word "please" in proximity to the phrase "don't close" or "do not close", and if found together disable the close link for the following reasons:

  • They asked nicely
  • They knew enough about the system to understand that posts can be closed, and thus are experienced enough to know when their own question is perfectly valid and reasonable

Please consider this question an opportunity to consider the issue carefully. I'll convert it to a feature request when abs(votes) > 100, until then it'll merely be a discussion.

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locked by animuson Sep 14 '13 at 16:34

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closed as not constructive by kiamlaluno, Toon Krijthe, Yannis, Brad Mace, Al E. Aug 7 '12 at 18:15

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34  
But sometimes they're wrong, even if they ask nicely. –  Troyen Jul 20 '11 at 3:02
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I'm sorry, but this proposal is fatally flawed. I mean, if they can't even be bothered to use "pretty please", how do we know they're sincere? –  Tim Stone Jul 20 '11 at 3:10
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Bounty bonanzas no longer doing it for you? –  random Jul 20 '11 at 3:15
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I can't help but notice that you haven't explicitly asked for this question to not be closed. Voting to close. –  Pops Jul 20 '11 at 3:18
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@Popular I see no close votes, flagged as unconstructive. (NB: Please do not flag this comment. Pretty please.) –  Daniel DiPaolo Jul 20 '11 at 3:23
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Please don't downvote this into oblivion because abs(-101) > 100 would be true. –  Rick Sladkey Jul 20 '11 at 3:24
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Next you'll be asking me not to delete answers that include "I know this isn't an answer, but..." It's a slippery slope. –  Bill the Lizard Jul 20 '11 at 3:28
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But...but...it's not even Friday! This is an attempt to lose all of that "extra" rep, isn't it? –  Cody Gray Jul 20 '11 at 4:00
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I believe the absolute opposite should be done. –  Won't Jul 20 '11 at 12:46
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@Tim: "Pretty-please, with sugar on top." –  Robert Harvey Jul 20 '11 at 18:44
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I almost want to upvote this simply for the brilliant answers it generated. –  David Z Jul 23 '11 at 23:03
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possible duplicate of Why can't we close questions with bounties? –  McCannot Aug 3 '11 at 3:19
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Will it also search for Plzz? –  Gary Nov 9 '11 at 23:13
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NOOOOO!!! Stop upvoting!!! –  amanaP lanaC A nalP A naM A Dec 15 '11 at 19:46
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You have created slim fast for reputation. Amazing. –  Tim Post Dec 16 '11 at 8:38
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13 Answers 13

up vote 147 down vote accepted
+500

I would suggest that rather than closing these questions, we set up a migration path to Yahoo Answers. To prevent it from being abused, it would only be available when the system finds:

"please" in proximity to the phrase "don't close" or "do not close"

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37  
...wow. That is brutal. –  McCannot Jul 22 '11 at 18:24
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@camccann I think you would agree that this is a better solution that your very good suggestion previously accepted. –  Adam Davis Jul 22 '11 at 18:40
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@Adam Davis: I am in absolute agreement. My solution was, I think, merely practical; this one is art. –  McCannot Jul 22 '11 at 18:43
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Beware: This very question meets the specified criterion. –  Rick Sladkey Jul 25 '11 at 4:00
    
haha, nice idea, indeed –  oleschri Jul 25 '11 at 9:04
    
Wow, Adam, thanks! –  jonsca Jul 28 '11 at 2:36
    
Hah, Thanks indeed! –  TCPMAN.EXE Jul 28 '11 at 15:52
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I actually favorited this question just for this answer. –  Gary Nov 9 '11 at 23:12
    
+1 since I think you didn't already get enough bling for this. –  Dennis Jun 8 '12 at 17:12
    
@Dennis, They can't invent enough badges to satiate my appetite for bling. –  TCPMAN.EXE Jun 8 '12 at 17:24
    
Still, 1,515 rep, 2 bronze badges, 2 silver badges and 2 gold badges for a single answer are not too shabby. –  Dennis Jun 8 '12 at 17:30
    
@mootinator Congratulations, you've been selected for a chance to win this year's Satire Badge. It comes with a mahogobolony plaque topped with a goldenrod plating that symbolizes the Grate Audacity of satarists averywear. Upon winning, you'll have an opportunity to order a copy of your plaque for $55.99 + shipping and handling. Part of the proceeds go toward the Yave-Bin O'Conned charity to halp caustic typers find a cure for their aleness. Good luck! –  Lee Louviere Aug 9 '13 at 18:02
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They knew enough about the system to understand that posts can be closed, and thus are experienced enough to know when their own question is perfectly valid and reasonable

I disagree. Usually when I see this, what they're really saying is:

Look, I know this question doesn't belong here. I really want to ask it though. So I'll just ask nicely that you not close it, and we'll be cool, k?

That isn't the kind of behavior we want to encourage.

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18  
You made a typo, the k at the end of the second blockquote should be kthxbye. –  jonsca Jul 20 '11 at 3:17
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@jonsca -1 What nonsense phrase is that; Everyone knows it's kthxbai. –  TCPMAN.EXE Jul 20 '11 at 18:24
    
I thought it was coythonksbee. –  Lee Louviere Aug 9 '13 at 18:03
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This answer is not an answer, but please don't flag it as "not an answer", and please don't downvote it.

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8  
Tongue-in-cheek, obviously, but where do we draw the line with this one. It's more likely to be the people posting crap that are going to rail against it being closed. A conscientious user would take the opportunity to figure out what needed editing and fix it. –  jonsca Jul 20 '11 at 3:13
    
For reference I got a flag weight bump for flagging as not an answer. Because it's not. –  Daniel DiPaolo Jul 29 '11 at 2:15
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@Daniel Honestly not sure what the point of telling me that was, but okay. –  jonsca Jul 29 '11 at 2:19
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it pays to not listen to you! –  Daniel DiPaolo Jul 29 '11 at 2:25
    
This is the best one so far –  Adam Rackis Jan 26 '12 at 22:34
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I'm having a hard time believing that this is even a serious proposal. I read your post three times.

jonsca's satire is spot on. This would open up a loophole for crappy questions so large you could pilot the Queen Mary 2 through it.

Slushie flavors ???


What is your favorite flavor of slushie?

Please don't close this.

And now no-one can vote to close? Really? I assume that mods would still have the ability to close a question;* do you really want to delegate 99% of closings to them? That's exactly what would happen as soon as users who "know enough about the system" figure this out and start doing end-runs around one of the main quality filters here.

Someone who says "Please don't close this" obviously, as you say, has a suspicion that their question might be closed. There's already a way to make sure that doesn't happen -- write a good question that fits well on the site.


*If not, then I am absolutely incredulous.

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14  
+1 for "not sure if this is serious" Most of the questions that I see literally begging not to be closed are figuratively begging for just the opposite. –  Cody Gray Jul 20 '11 at 3:59
    
You made me lookup "incredulous" now for the second time... –  Time Traveling Bobby Jan 25 '12 at 16:03
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I love slushies! –  Adam Davis Mar 1 '12 at 16:41
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up vote 113 down vote
+500

The system should search posts for the word "please" in proximity to the phrase "don't close" or "do not close", and if found together disable the close link for the following reasons:

I think this is actually a good idea. Requesting that their question not be closed indicates that they have a solid understanding of what constitutes an appropriate question, in that they're clearly aware that they're presently asking one that isn't.

Given that, I think it's reasonable to grant their request and prevent other users from closing the question by preemptively closing it automatically. This will replace the "close" link with the "reopen" link, so I believe this adequately fulfills the spirit of your request.

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8  
Unalloyed genius. –  Josh Caswell Jul 20 '11 at 3:36
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ø¤A+++++ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºGREAT STACKOVERFLOWERº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤øø¤ºWOULD ASK AGAINº¤ø¤ºEXCELLENTº¤ø –  Adam Davis Jul 20 '11 at 10:28
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I see what you did there. –  Won't Jul 20 '11 at 12:49
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slow clapping Well done sir. –  Fosco Jul 20 '11 at 19:00
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Please ask this as a genuine request... I would support it. –  Lawrence Dol Jul 23 '11 at 1:07
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enter image description here

This is an artistic statement, please do not downvote it.

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5  
The above is slightly more tongue-in-cheek than you will think it is after you've read this. Also, this is not a comment, but please don't flag it. (also, apologies to both Magritte and jonsca for the shameless imitation) –  McCannot Jul 20 '11 at 4:29
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Don't worry, I'm plenty ashamed of you. Oh, oops. –  jonsca Jul 20 '11 at 7:04
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-1 for beating that dead horse –  Won't Jul 20 '11 at 12:51
    
@Won't: A fair point, I agree. Given the absurdity of the question I felt guilty for only posting a sensible answer like "automatically close it for them". This answer is, I think, sufficiently frivolous to bring my net useful contribution back down to breaking even. –  McCannot Jul 20 '11 at 16:37
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@Won't ಠ_ಠ♦: That is not a horse. –  user151803 Sep 7 '11 at 19:02
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They knew enough about the system to understand that posts can be closed, and thus are experienced enough to know when their own question is perfectly valid and reasonable

Not really.

You'll also get "please don't close" from 1 rep users asking the same question the third time, after the previous two got closed for various reasons.

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They knew enough about the system to understand that posts can be closed, and thus are experienced enough to know when their own question is perfectly valid and reasonable

Maybe they're just trying to get a good rewrite going, and needed a launching off point.

Like refactoring code, but for questions.

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@Adam Davis, although they may have asked nicely, and are sincere in their questions, the problem is, they might possibly be just wrong.

They could be sincere, but sincerely wrong.

What you might possibly could have asked for however, would be something like, questions with "please don't close" be directed to the moderator's attention, for them to determine whether or not this question should really remain open.

In which case, just flag it.

Or you could ask for a feature which allows the system to search for such questions, to direct them to moderator attention, because questions that have to beseech users "please don't close" obviously need moderator help.

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In the end, you can never have enough jQuery ^_^

That always prevents my questions from being closed.

when worse comes to worse

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5  
$('#answer-116145').find('.vote-up-off').trigger('click'); // it's really great and does all things –  Shawn Chin Dec 15 '11 at 16:48
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+1 for the nice miniature image only. –  Daniel Daranas Jan 13 '12 at 17:31
    
@ShawnChin I prefer the alternative: $('#answer-116145').find('.vote-down-off').trigger('click'); I noticed it worked in my console. :) –  Web_Designer Mar 19 '13 at 7:51
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V fhccbeg guvf cebcbfny. Pyrneyl hfref trg hcfrg jura gurve bss-gbcvp be onqyl sbezrq dhrfgvbaf ner pybfrq. Nccebivat guvf arj Srngher Erdhrfg jvyy nyybj hf gb xrrc znal hfref jub jbhyq bgurejvfr jnfgr gvzr ba Lnubb! Nafjref.

Please don't delete this.

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Rot13 –  Kalamane Dec 28 '11 at 22:40
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OMG - That changed my life. Thanks so much. I never saw things that way until I read your post. I feel greatly enlightened. Ommm Almony Almony Almoneeeeeeeeeeeeee –  Lee Louviere Aug 3 '12 at 20:25
    
I'm reading this answer for 2 hours and I started understanding it. I found Mr. Srngher Erdhrfg in Google. Please don't delete this thread. –  Miroslav Popov Jul 30 '13 at 20:53
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Please consider this question an opportunity to consider the issue carefully. I'll convert it to a feature request when abs(votes) > 100, until then it'll merely be a discussion.

I'm glad to see that you really did this.

Please don't convert this answer to a comment.

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Oileee Oileee Oleioloooooooooooooooooooo....

Please don't downvote this!

Please upvote this!

Please see if you can repcap this answer daily 500 times, for badge please!

Please, yes? please yes!

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