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• First and foremost, take sites.
• Above all, be actively kind. We can hold everyone involved accountable without cruelty or condescension. Sara is probably upset. Joel is probably upset. Probably many others at SE, both those involved and those not involved, are upset. We know Monica is upset. They are all human beings on opposite sides of a terribly unfortunate incident that is now highly restricted by legal realities. This reflects on the sad state of our legal system more than it does on the individuals involved, though certainly an olive branch at some level is still appropriate.
• Protect yourself by anonymizing your user account, if you have not already.
• Do not allow fatigue, apathy, or fear cause you to desist in taking sides. Have faith in people, including those at SE. They are human beings. I strongly suspect they are generally decent, care as deeply about the community as we do, and feel deeply unsettled about any harm they have caused.
• Continue to hold SE (again, respectfully) accountable. Resist until a formal apology has been offered to Monica.
• If necessary, cease to participate in the community. Stop posting answers. Stop posting questions. Stop moderating. Limit your participation entirely to Meta until the situation is resolved.
• Support Monica, who appears to very clearly be in the right.
• Hold the entire situation in your hearts and in your prayers. Commit a little time and energy to seeing the right thing is done, whatever you believe that to be.

• First and foremost, take sides.
• Above all, be actively kind. We can hold everyone involved accountable without cruelty or condescension. Sara is probably upset. Joel is probably upset. Probably many others at SE, both those involved and those not involved, are upset. We know Monica is upset. They are all human beings on opposite sides of a terribly unfortunate incident that is now highly restricted by legal realities. This reflects on the sad state of our legal system more than it does on the individuals involved, though certainly an olive branch at some level is still appropriate.
• Protect yourself by anonymizing your user account, if you have not already.
• Do not allow fatigue, apathy, or fear cause you to desist in taking sides. Have faith in people, including those at SE. They are human beings. I strongly suspect they are generally decent, care as deeply about the community as we do, and feel deeply unsettled about any harm they have caused.
• Continue to hold SE (again, respectfully) accountable. Resist until a formal apology has been offered to Monica.
• If necessary, cease to participate in the community. Stop posting answers. Stop posting questions. Stop moderating. Limit your participation entirely to Meta until the situation is resolved.
• Support Monica, who appears to very clearly be in the right.
• Hold the entire situation in your hearts and in your prayers. Commit a little time and energy to seeing the right thing is done, whatever you believe that to be.

From The Nobel Acceptance Speech delivered by Elie Wiesel in Oslo on December 10, 1986

I would add many things to his list of things that should not make a person the target of persecution. For instance, national origin, sexual identity (Joel taught me this in his writing, long ago), or for taking sides.

I would add many things to his list of things that should not make a person the target of persecution. For instance, national origin, sexual identity (Joel taught me this in his writing, long ago), or for taking sides.

The issues we face today are terribly complex. You have people like me, for example, who grew up in southern Texas where non-binary sexual identity was openly ridiculed when I was a child in the 1980's and some in the 1990's. I did NOT grow up enlightened. I had questions. I had (and still do have) things I don't understand, and awkward questions I must ask if I am going to understand what it must be like to be a member of the LGBTQ+ community. Should I not be allowed to expose my ignorance without ridicule? Should I be crucified for asking honest, sincere questions in an effort to understand people whose lives are fundamentally different from my own? The world has grown so polarized over these issues that I AM AFRAID TO TAKE SIDES. I had high hopes, based on Joel's apparently excellent character and intelligence, that this would become a place where people could feel comfortable with one another, be free to ask and understand the answers to these questions, and perhaps aid in the resolution of these societal issues. Wouldn't a well-run lgbtq.stackexchange.com have been wonderful? Imagine all the open-ended questions and answers that could have been asked there, honestly, and how many people might've been enlightended in the process. Perhaps this could still happen.

• First and foremost, TAKE SIDES.
• Above all, BE ACTIVELY KIND. We can hold everyone involved accountable without cruelty or condescension. Sara is probably upset. Joel is probably upset. Probably many others at SE, both those involved and those not involved, are upset. We know Monica is upset. They are all human beings on opposite sides of a terribly unfortunate incident that is now highly restricted by legal realities. This reflects on the sad state of our legal system more than it does on the individuals involved, though certainly an olive branch at some level is still appropriate.
• Protect yourself by anonymizing your user account, if you have not already.
• Do not allow fatigue, apathy, or fear cause you to desist in taking sides. Have faith in people, including those at SE. They are human beings. I strongly suspect they are generally decent, care as deeply about the community as we do, and feel deeply unsettled about any harm they have caused.
• Continue to hold SE (again, respectfully) accountable. Resist until a formal apology has been offered to Monica.
• If necessary, cease to participate in the community. Stop posting answers. Stop posting questions. Stop moderating. Limit your participation ENTIRELY to Meta until the situation is resolved.
• Support Monica, who appears to very clearly be in the right.
• Hold the entire situation in your hearts and in your prayers. Commit a little time an energy to seeing the right thing is done, whatever you believe that to be.

The issues we face today are terribly complex. You have people like me, for example, who grew up in southern Texas where non-binary sexual identity was openly ridiculed when I was a child in the 1980's and some in the 1990's. I did NOT grow up enlightened. I had questions. I had (and still do have) things I don't understand, and awkward questions I must ask if I am going to understand what it must be like to be a member of the LGBTQ+ community. Should I not be allowed to expose my ignorance without ridicule? Should I be crucified for asking honest, sincere questions in an effort to understand people whose lives are fundamentally different from my own? The world has grown so polarized over these issues that I am afraid to take sides. I had high hopes, based on Joel's apparently excellent character and intelligence, that this would become a place where people could feel comfortable with one another, be free to ask and understand the answers to these questions, and perhaps aid in the resolution of these societal issues. Wouldn't a well-run lgbtq.stackexchange.com have been wonderful? Imagine all the open-ended questions and answers that could have been asked there, honestly, and how many people might've been enlightended in the process. Perhaps this could still happen.

• First and foremost, take sites.
• Above all, be actively kind. We can hold everyone involved accountable without cruelty or condescension. Sara is probably upset. Joel is probably upset. Probably many others at SE, both those involved and those not involved, are upset. We know Monica is upset. They are all human beings on opposite sides of a terribly unfortunate incident that is now highly restricted by legal realities. This reflects on the sad state of our legal system more than it does on the individuals involved, though certainly an olive branch at some level is still appropriate.
• Protect yourself by anonymizing your user account, if you have not already.
• Do not allow fatigue, apathy, or fear cause you to desist in taking sides. Have faith in people, including those at SE. They are human beings. I strongly suspect they are generally decent, care as deeply about the community as we do, and feel deeply unsettled about any harm they have caused.
• Continue to hold SE (again, respectfully) accountable. Resist until a formal apology has been offered to Monica.
• If necessary, cease to participate in the community. Stop posting answers. Stop posting questions. Stop moderating. Limit your participation entirely to Meta until the situation is resolved.
• Support Monica, who appears to very clearly be in the right.
• Hold the entire situation in your hearts and in your prayers. Commit a little time and energy to seeing the right thing is done, whatever you believe that to be.