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Note, this is semi-serious, mainly due to the fact the blogs were down and my imagination wasn't... It's also possible this is already the case, just not linked in the maintenance message. Mod-closed? Extreme downvoting? Meh, and meh.

Post updates on outages on #twitter as well as (some apparently future) postmortem blog entry:

Routine maintenance usually takes less than an hour. If this turns into an extended outage, we will post details on the blog and twitter.

Because we're so interested in knowing what's really going on... in realtime...

#stackeasy: Just brought all SE sites down. Last minute always #sukx, but preemptive strikes are #kewl.

#stackeasy: Just gotta get in there and reload that (breaking) #phlugerphlarg before it #overfloods. Shutting down...

#stackeasy: This is gonna be easy. Shutdown and rebuilding, maybe I'll get some coffee from #starducks.

#stackeasy: What the! DB host is sharding itself, abort abort!

#stackeasy: This coffee is terrible.

#stackeasy: All sites down now without warning (well, not much of one) for over an hour. Rebuilding again.

#stackeasy: Anybody know a good Chinese place in #Sasketchewan (sp?)?

#stackeasy: Good thing we kept that restore point...

#stackeasy: Bringing back #metaso, the crybabies.

#stackeasy: Alright, so that came up. Now one at a time.

#stackeasy: But what the

#stackeasy: all yer citez blong to us

#stackeasy: intertoobz are for boobz

#stackeasy: lolz lolz needz moor kowbel

#stackeasy: localhost is #publicmine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#stackeasy: That was #soweird. Ok, should be restarting 800 lb gorilla in 5, 4, 3, 2 ...

#stackeasy: Ok, anybody know how to restart this thing? I keep getting errors. Just reply to #stackeasy with codez, plz.

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Live-blogging? What is this, 2010? We need a publicly broadcast video conference, containing at least the following:

  • Kyle, in his office, shouting at Geoff via Skype, "No no no, the Ethernet cable is the one that looks like a phone cable, just with a bigger plug!"
  • Geoff, in the datacenter in Oregon, with one hand trying to keep the rack from falling over, while with the other one feeding the hamsters. He has a screwdriver between his teeth, attempting to push the server's power button with it.
  • Marc, in England, franatically coding a Powershell script that reenables the air conditoning in the colo. He'll later switch to manually writing IL instead.
  • Nick, at home, preparing his overpowered dev PC to take over the duty as both web and DB server for Stack Overflow during the downtime.
  • Me, in Berlin, trying to hide my German accent while doing the live commenting of the whole situation. In Markdown, of course.
  • Sam, in Australia, yelling at all of us that we're not fast enough.
  • Jeff, in California, showing the twins on his 64-inch secondary monitor what happens as soon as daddy leaves those crazy guys on their own.

Did I miss anything?

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  • 1
    What, no telepresence in rotoscoped 3D? – Jared Farrish Feb 18 '12 at 22:30
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    You really shouldn't have used regex for the automated hamster feeding. – Pollyanna Feb 18 '12 at 22:31
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    I'm willing to make random Meta commentary from the sidelines, if it helps. – Tim Stone Feb 18 '12 at 22:44
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    I guess you forgot Rebecca going oy at Sam, then keeping Jeff's babies at bay with her backwards smile? – badp Feb 19 '12 at 0:06
  • Joel asking everyone repeatedly what little thing about outages and downtime catch you off guard or make you smile. – nhinkle Feb 19 '12 at 4:39
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    actually you made this sound kinda awesome. I am not sure that was your intent... – Jeff Atwood Feb 24 '12 at 7:38
  • And you writing all this stuff... :) – user3459110 May 20 '14 at 12:10

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