The moderators have decided to have a little yuletide fun, join us will you?

Question

PS: You only get so many Iceland Fridays in a year, so make it special people ...

To start things off, a little refashioned seasonal tune:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Stack Exchange gave to me: 
12 inbox 'lerts 
11 chatty pings 
10 Adam Lears a-leaping 
9 spam bots posting 
8 weeks a feature 
7 little ponies 
6 Iceland Fridays 
5 gold badges 
4 frozen posts 
3 faq links 
2 question bans 
1 Community Manager - Aarthi (sung as arrrrrr teeeeeee)

How would you make the site more fun for this festive holiday? (Please keep all yuletide silliness restrained to this post, so it doesn't bleed over into all of meta and destroy business as usual.)

Answer 1

TTTO: Where are you Christmas

Where are you @rchern 
Why can't I find you 
Why have you gone away 
Where is the (: 
You used to bring me 
Why can't I hear music play 

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean @rchern changes too

Where are you @rchern
Do you remember
The one you used to know
@RebeccaChernoff's not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go

@rchern is here
Everywhere, oh
@rchern is here
If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like @rchern all the time

I feel you @rchern
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of @rchern
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you @rchern
Fill your heart with love (;

Answer 2

T'was the night before Christmas, when on all the sites
Not a shitstorm was blowing, not even small fights.
Upvotes were cast, and each newbie was greeted
With a nice and warm "Welcome!" so they would feel well-treated.

And then, in a twinkling, I noticed in chat,
A onebox appearing of a classic lolcat.
When I looked and I saw that the joke was quite lame,
A mod joined the room with his blue user name.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
With a life-long suspension for some spammy old jerk.
An emoticon posted then into the room
Made clear that this wouldn't be happy time's doom.

He sprang to his Twitter, and his followers read
A warm jolly greeting which in retweets they spread.
A nice "Happy Christmas", they all realized,
Is, despite narrow timeframe, not too localized.

Answer 3

To the tune of "White Christmas"

I'm dreaming of a FUN question
Just like the ones I used to know!
Where the site rules loosen
And answerers listen
To see upvotes on their posts

I'm dreaming of a FUN question
With every comment that I write!
May your badges be many and bright,
And may all your questions be all right!

Answer 4

TTTO: I Had a Little Dreidel

I had a little question,  
But it was slightly flawed.  
And when the mean mods closed it,  
They said it was "Too Broad".

 [Chorus]
 Oh question question question
 They closed you, oh, so fast
 I thought I really liked this site
 But the liking didn't last

I had a little question,  
It was about the tropics.  
And when the mean mods closed it,  
They said it was "Off Topic".  

I had a little question,  
It bothered me a bit.  
But I guess I'm not alone,  
'Cuz it was an "Exact Duplicate"

I had a little question,
"I love regex expressions"
And when the mean mods closed it,
They said 'twas "Not A Real Question".

I had a little question,
"Do you find books instructive?"
And when the mean mods closed it,
They said 'twas "Not Constructive".

Still working on a chorus. Thanks @Manishearth for the chorus!

I got some reputation,
from answering a Q.
And now that I have got it,
I'm gonna (upvote|downvote) you!

I had some reputation,
For it I worked real hard.
But then it got reversed,
They said 'twas voter fraud!

Answer 5

To the tune of "Jingle Bells"

  Dashing through the flags 
  In a hour clearing binge  
  O'er the users I skim  
  Nuking all the way (nuke nuke nuke)  

  Bans on spambots ding  
  Making flag counts bright  
  Oh what fun it is to run 
  A Stack Exchange SITE!

Answer 6

Silent Site

To the tune of "Silent Night"

Silent site  
Empty site  
All is calm  
All is quiet  

Till someone asks the very first thing  
Till then the site is pure and clean  

A new network site is born  
A new network site is born

Answer 7

The Carol of the Flags

To the tune of "Carol of the Bells"

Hark how the flags
Moderator flags
All seem to say
Handle us today

Spam bots are here
Bringing their cheer
To young and old
"Buy Warcraft Gold"

Flag flag flag flag
It's in the bag
With joyful song
Spam bots are gone

Not like there ain't
User complaints
From everywhere
Filling the air

Oh how they rag,
raising the flags,
o'er hill and dale,
telling their tale.

Gaily they ring
while people sing
songs of good cheer,
Meta is here.

Post on, post on, post on, post on Meta,
Post on, post on, post on, post on Meta

On on they send,
on without end,
their joyful tone
to every home.

Flag, flag, flag... flag!

Answer 8

To the tune of Dreidel, Dreidel

I have a little question
Everyone can see
And when it gets closed
On meta I shall be

[Chorus]
Oh question question question
Everyone can see
And when it gets closed
On meta I shall be

It has a bunch of downvotes
And comments as well
I did not put much effort
in this you can tell

CHORUS

This site is so hateful
I want to start anew
I was just q-banned
http://goo.gl/C1Kwu

Answer 9

To the tune of "Good King Wenceslas"....

Good sir Jeff Atwood looked out 
On the site he coded, 
When the votes were all about, 
Fair and just and sorted. 

Brightly shone the server lights, 
arranged on their racks
Waiting there with bated breath
To burninate some tags

Answer 10

To the tune of Last Christmas

Last Christmas, I made a great post,
But the very next day, you made it migrate
This year, to save me from tears,
I posted it on Quora

Once banned and twice flagged
I keep my distance but the inbox catches my eyes
Tell me Community♦, am I low-quality?
Well, it's pretty short, it doesn't surprise me

I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "Thank You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you upvoted now I know you'd fool me again


A crowded chat, mods everywhere
I'm hiding from them and their souls of ice
My God I thought this was someplace to spam on
Me? I guess I was user to flag on

A post on a site with rules in the faq
A mean downvoter that tore me apart
Oh oh
Now I've found Quora you'll never downvote again

Answer 11

¡Feliz preguntar!  
¡Feliz preguntar!  
¡Feliz preguntar!  
Prospero recado y contestar.

I want to wish you a Famous Question,  
I want to wish you a Famous Question,  
I want to wish you a Famous Question,  
from the bottom of my heart.

Answer 12

From @Aarthi

To the tune of "Chanukah, Oh Chanukah"

Oh diamond mod, oh diamond mod
Please migrate my question
I posted it on Server Fault
And they're downvoting to oblivion

They're gathering the close votes
They're coming for me
Lots of snarky comments
My rep's now 93

And while I am flailing
Their chatroom is laughing so loud
A vote for each one
They're having such fun
Laughing at my misery

Answer 13

To the tune of I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day and with deepest apologies to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

I heard the mods on Stack Exchange
Their old, familiar carols slay,
and wild and sweet
The words repeat
"It's always Friday in Iceland"!

...

Then pealed the mods more loud and deep:
"We are not dead, nor do we sleep;
The Fun shall fail,
The Close prevail,
No more Friday in Iceland."

(I don't have the heart to mess with the other verses.)

Answer 14

to the tune of "Mr. Grinch" from the cartoon

You’re a mean one Casperone
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
And as charming as an eel,
Casperone!
You're a bad banana,
With a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Casperone!
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul,
Casperone!
I wouldn't touch you
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a vile one, Casperone!
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile,
Casperone!
Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile!

You're a foul one, Casperone!
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Casperone!
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk!"

You're a rotter, Casperone!
You're the king of sinful sots!
Your heart's a dead tomato,
Splotched with moldy, purple spots,
Casperone!
Your soul is an apalling dump-heap,
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!

You nauseate me, Casperone!
With a nauseous super naus!
You're a crooked jerky jockey,
And you drive a crooked hoss,
Casperone!
You're a three-decker sauerkraut
and toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce! 

Answer 15

To the tune of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer:

A poster got run over by a moderator
Asking crappy questions on Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as banning,
But as for me and Bubbles, we believe.

He'd been readin' too much Reddit
And we begged him please to go.
But he'd hated moderation
So he left Stack Overflow.

When they found him Christmas mornin'
At the chaotic Meta site
There were downvotes on his profile
And incriminatin' comments overnight.

Now we're all so proud of Bubbles.
She's a giant talking sign.
See her there in the convention
Promoting to the folks in line.

[Feel free to continue this epic saga. In my mind, Bubbles and the poster end up getting married, but the path to get us there is convoluted.]

Answer 16

To the tune of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus":

I saw newbies posting junk replies
underneath my Good Question last night.
They didn't see me note
in the comments that I wrote
that they should all substantiate as a matter of rote.

Then I saw n00bs defending their replies
underneath my comments on their posts.
Oh, what relief it would have been
if diamond mods had seen,
commented, and nuked those posts last night.

Answer 17

My version of the Dreidel song.

rchern, rchern, rchern
With her I am okay
but when the site is broken
Oh, rchern I will blame

Answer 18

To the tune of "Christmas in Hollis" by Run-D.M.C.:

It was December 24th and dark on Stack Overflow
When I seen the mods chilling all ready to go
I approached them very slowly, they should not be reckoned
Looked at this one, oh my God, a real diamond

But then I was illin' because the man was a ghost
With a bag of cleared flags, the mod with the most
So I turned my head a second and the man was gone
But he left his user profile smack dead on the lawn

I picked the profile up after he was long gone
Looked at the info and it cold said casperOne
A million dead flags in it, cold hundreds of pings
Enough to get a mug, matching shirt with ease

But I'd never steal from casper, 'cause that ain't right
So I was going home to mail it back to him that night
But when I got home I bugged, 'cause under the tree
Was a mod message from casper and a suspension for me

Answer 19

With apologies to Christina Rosetti.

In the close vote queue, I am overwhelmed,
50k posts and counting, it just never ends.
Flags are falling, flag on flag, flag on flag,
In the close vote queue, once again.

Sorry, I'm just too tired, of this endless flood,
Makes me want to flee away, when I see the crud.
In the close vote queue, it never will suffice,
Just can't make the effort, maybe I'm too nice.

Enough for me, of trawling, night and day,
Trying to work out context, getting lost on the way.
Enough of just not knowing, or caring any more,
And that awful feeling: I've been here before.

Mods and 10k users, may have gathered there,
All those 1-rep users, getting in their hair,
But it's so much more fun, to be doing this,
Hanging out on meta, not staring into the abyss.

What then, should I give up, tired as I am?
If I were a diamond, I would close all as spam.
If I were Jeff Atwood, I would do my part:
Nuke the whole 4 million, and hit restart.

Not too happy with some parts, please feel free to improve!

Answer 20

To the tune of "Angels We Have Heard on High"....

System banners placed on high, 
Visible on every page. 
When meta needs users' eyes, 
This is used despite warnings.

Chat event, event, event
Happening weekly.
Chat event, event, event
Happening weekly.

Answer 21

To the tune of "Silver Bells"

Grammar edits, helpful edits!
Formatting code blocks
In the post there's a feeling
of collaboration

Editors laughing,
approvers passing,
Validating edit after edit,
On every profile you see...


Silver Badge
Silver Badge,
It's editing time
In the Ex-change!

Ding-a-ling,
Your global inbox rings,
Encouraging helpful behavior!

Answer 22

To the tune of "Last Christmas"

Stack Christmas, I answered with heart

The very next post, you checked that hollow tick mark

This year to save me from tears, I gave my answers to metaaaaa

Answer 23

This song excerpt requires surprisingly few edits (To the tune of "Feed the World" naturally):

Spare a thought this yuletide for the deprived
If the table was turned would your post survive

Here's to them

Hiding behind that glowing monitor

You ain't gotta feel guilt just selfless
Give a little help to the helpless

[Repeated ad nauseum]
Feed the trolls
Let them know it's Christmastime again

Answer 24

Last question

you gave me your vote

But the very next day,

you took it away

Next post

To save me from tears

I'll answer to someone special

Answer 25

Gurus and newbies engaged in discussion
Users from Instanbul, Holland, and Russia
A search engine more relevant than Google or Bing,
This is why Stack is my favorite thing.

Answer 26

Notes from A Stack Exchange Editor's Diary

Jumped onto StackExchange this festive season,
Hoping to bump my points - well that was *a* reason.
But my spritely cheer soon began to fade,
As poorly asked questions my screen began to invade.
"Pls help me! My program crashing!" one exclaimed,
But without code that damn question was maimed.
Found another one promoting a product,
Had to raise a flag to show that really sucked.
My blood it started to slowly boil,
"Why do this site people come to soil?"
But just then as the clock struck midnight,
I received a notification - and squealed in delight!
My first gold badge I finally earned!
I received my gift - the one I yearned.
"Copy Editor" I wore proudly on my virtual chest,
And all that anger it was laid to rest.
With renewed zest I got back to improving,
Appreciating the good posts - and the bad ones removing.