In a discussion on travel, we were upset about the lack of possibility of getting some hats. Some certainly seem out of reach on the travel site. For example: The "Oh The Horror" hat. And so began a poem, a Christmas poem...

In a brief chat on Travel
Began a lament
"Cannot get a guru hat!"

Our highest meta
Is only twenty-five points
"That's not even close!"

So in a grand plan
In the full Christmas spirit
Came a post - right here!

Needing quality,
A laugh, a catch, cleverness..
We all love Haikus!

So five-seven-five,
Please lend me all of your ears,
Christmas hats for all!

A late edit in,
It came to my attention:
I suck at Haikus :/

This question's not mine
A gratuitous edit
Gets me Stallman's beard!
  • 10
    +1 for the idea. -1 for a bunch of horrible ugly non-haikus. +1 for the last one though, which is a real haiku and made me laugh (-: Dec 20, 2013 at 4:39
  • 1
    When posting haikus, a new line you are after, end line with two spaces.
    – Travis J
    Dec 20, 2013 at 5:54
  • btw, i deleted a question last day (passed judgement, winter bash), then why did i not get any hat :( :(
    – Zeeshan
    Dec 20, 2013 at 5:57
  • I apologize / For barging in so rudely / Just for facial hair Dec 20, 2013 at 9:09
  • I only write haikus for mugs these days.
    – fredley
    Dec 20, 2013 at 13:45
  • This question appears to be off-topic because I hate hats.
    – PeeHaa
    Dec 25, 2013 at 21:15

24 Answers 24

I just want a hat
I hope sense is not needed

Another haiku
Just to get the Stallman hat
  • Possibly my favourite thus far!
    – Mark Mayo
    Dec 20, 2013 at 5:46
  • 1
    All of us are cold. / Where would hats need to be chilled? / The antipodes? Dec 20, 2013 at 9:07
  • #win :D love this one. Dec 20, 2013 at 19:18

Unicorns love hats
And my Christmas hat haiku
I has a bucket

Hypertext regex
TO͇̹̺ͅƝ̴ȳ̳ TH̘Ë͖́̉ ͠P̯͍̭O̚​N̐Y̡ H̸̡̪̯ͨ͊̽̅̾̎Ȩ̬̩̾͛ͪ̈́̀́͘ ̶̧̨̱̹̭̯ͧ̾ͬC̷̙̲̝͖ͭ̏ͥͮ͟Oͮ͏̮̪̝͍M̲̖͊̒ͪͩͬ̚̚͜Ȇ̴̟̟͙̞ͩ͌͝S̨̥̫͎̭ͯ̿̔̀ͅ
A scary haiku

First day of Christmas
To me the Stack Exchange gave
Badass hat for free

  • Unicorns! Regex! / You've covered all the bases / Really know your memes. Dec 20, 2013 at 9:05

I proudly present
The saga made of haikus
In hopes of a hat

I must get f1rst p0st
I will be the fastest gun
Need wonderful hats

Winter bash is here
Better than ever before
HATS will rule SE

Freehand red circles
Meme overloads will do good
Appeal to meta

I like unicorns
Unicorn unicorn yay
Cheap memes everywhere!

How to add numbers?
$(2) + $(2) ["dollar two plus dollar two"]
jQuery is best

Sekrit hats abound
Must figure out Chuck Yeager!
Pleading to the devs

Wait! Yes! I've got it!
Eureka! I've found out how!
Hint hint nudge nudge slap

I li-i-i-i-i-ive
Questions rise from dead

Peanut gallery
Comments comments everywhere
Yes! Got that upvote!

I see your point hat
Everyone wants unicorn horns
Hint: get it right here

I'm not listening
You must ignore somebody
For sekrit headphones

Wow, The Stallman beard
Suddenly random edits
Search for "wiki: yes"

Secret of the doge
Such hat very winter bash
Wow does it exist?

I'll keep expanding
In true fastest gun style
What's this "sleep" you say?

(Also, more hat-specific stanzas coming tomorrow)

  • I'm going to do that "sleep" thing. :-P this will constantly update
    – Doorknob
    Dec 20, 2013 at 3:25
  • 2
    Keep it going, never know, there could be a haiku hat for 100 haikus ;)
    – Mark Mayo
    Dec 20, 2013 at 3:45
  • 1
    -1 needs more jQuery. Dec 20, 2013 at 8:55
  • So many stanzas! / More a saga than haiku / And more is to come! Dec 20, 2013 at 9:12
  • @AmalMurali Fixed!
    – Doorknob
    Dec 20, 2013 at 13:15
  • Now I have to upvote. :D Dec 20, 2013 at 14:01
  • Can you be less cryptic about the Eureka hat? I can't figure it out :/
    – Bohemian
    Dec 30, 2013 at 0:09
  • @Bohemian You can't figure out? (Hint hint...)
    – Doorknob
    Dec 30, 2013 at 0:44


Winter Hat,
Protects You from Piercing Cold Wind,
Better Wear One


Ears and horn are,
a unicorn's

  • Charming, I like the wordplay in the Japanese, hehe. Dec 20, 2013 at 6:11
  • Thanks @Darius, it's intentional, but doesn't translate so well.
    – jmac
    Dec 20, 2013 at 6:11
  • 2
    Also, I'm not sure if you care, but it's rare to end a poem with 連用形, usually it's the 連体形 (べき) or 終止形 (べし) Dec 20, 2013 at 6:13
  • I originally had べし in my draft, but wasn't sure if it was right so I changed it to something I was more confident about. I switched it back. Thanks for the lesson @Darius!
    – jmac
    Dec 20, 2013 at 6:17
  • Japanese, English / In parallel translation / You are an artist Dec 20, 2013 at 9:15




  • I can't believe I just learned Japanese to post in this thread! d-: Dec 20, 2013 at 5:02
  • 2
    Unfortunately it ain't 5/7/5 (6-12-7). What were you trying to say? "Foreign Dialect, At times perhaps enough, Traveling Hat"
    – jmac
    Dec 20, 2013 at 5:07
  • @jmac: Yes something like "foreign dialect. might be sufficient. travel hat." (I didn't try to make it 5-7-5 in this English gloss.) I was counting syllables in the Japanese rather than morae, because I'm not really sure how to count them Japanese style )-: Dec 20, 2013 at 5:11
  • 3
    1 letter (one ひらがな) = 1 syllable in Japanese. So it's really just type 5 letters, 7 letters, 5 letters. The Japanese do cheat too sometimes though. Foreign dialect as 外人弁 made me chuckle though, thanks for that.
    – jmac
    Dec 20, 2013 at 5:12
  • What about stuff like small kana? Are they also one letter? Dec 20, 2013 at 5:13
  • 2
    It's easier to count in hiragana than kanji. Also, if you have a properly romanized version, you can count vowels, adding an extra for doubled consonants or finishing 'n'.
    – Geobits
    Dec 20, 2013 at 5:15
  • 2
    Anything that is one 'sound' is one letter, so はっぱ (leaf) would be 3 (since the っ is a whole-length pause), but しゃけ (salmon) would be 2 (since し and しゃ are both a single-length sound).
    – jmac
    Dec 20, 2013 at 5:15
  • @GenericHolidayName: Yeah I was lazily counting in Romaji at the bottom of the Google Translate window (-; Dec 20, 2013 at 5:18
  • 1
    Real Haiku are bloody tough, because they are so minimalist. I mean, the word for hat (ぼうし) is already taking up 3 syllables, while it's one in English. So you really have to be clever with your grammar choices and word choices. It's good mental exercise I'm sure, especially if you have good Japanese.
    – jmac
    Dec 20, 2013 at 5:26
  • 1
    Lucky I chose gaijin-ben! (-: Dec 20, 2013 at 5:29


enter image description here

  • 1
    When I next log in, If that appears in my list, My week will be made!
    – Mark Mayo
    Dec 20, 2013 at 3:48
  • 1
    Embroidered digits! / But what if your wish came true... / Wear it to the pub? Dec 20, 2013 at 9:03

Submit your poems

Rhyming is not important

Count your syllables

Who even needs hats?
Rep and badges are better
Ha ha, just kidding
Japanese haiku --
They look very beautiful!
Wish I could write one.

"FUS DO RAH" mentioned...
"Eureka" as well...

The syllables work.
The pattern, it is maintained.
The hat is pending.
  • +½ for the first one. -½ for the second one. +1 for the last one! Dec 20, 2013 at 6:02

Keyboard not present
Press F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

your first stanza may seem odd,
but not unheard of
  • It's Christmas, we're turning haikus on their heads!
    – Mark Mayo
    Dec 20, 2013 at 3:28

All sites are equal

But some more so than others?

Hatless in protest!


Winter is coming.
I was defending the realm
Before it was cool.


Winter bash is fun

But StackOverflow centric

No backpacker hat?!


Hat equity now!

Emancipate sister sites!

Or we'll shave your heads.


Mark what have you done?

I was happy with my hats.

Sorry for flooding.


Hat fun. Haiku fun.

Then along comes "Tiny Tim".

And says "Bah Humbug"!


Mark wants everyone

Equally able to win

All the hats they want


One haiku per post?

Or entire anthology?

Are there any rules?


Form an angry mob

Storm Stack Exchange headquarters

Box under Joel's desk



Came to fight for equal rights.

Boat fell on my head.


Christmas Hat Haiku

Mark had inspiration, but

Is there a question?

There's a hat for me   
I just have to understand    
How to do haiku.

Q&A is hard

Let's go shopping for headgear


  • 4
    fourteen haiku / in three hours is a lot / way too much free time?
    – jmac
    Dec 20, 2013 at 8:33
  • 2
    In Ulan Bator / Hiding inside from the cold / All my time is free Dec 20, 2013 at 8:37

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