This question caused quite a "stir":


(Only 10k users can view this question as it is deleted.)


I wanted to know How true is this statement : "If you want to get marry, find cute girl and get married while you are in college becuase once you start working in Software Industy, you will hardly find one"?

Also, is this true universally or only for some geographical locations ?

It's been deleted by a moderator, but I have mixed feelings about it. I voted to close it for not being "programming-related", but after seeing the comments, it occurred to me that it WAS related to the software development industry, and lots of young developers have these concerns.

There are many humor community questions on stackoverflow, so why not this one? It wasn't 100% politically correct but where do you draw the line?

Followup question: can a question be voted to be undeleted? And if so, is it appropriate to do so? (without risking an offended moderator)

  • FWIW, as a 10K+ user, I see an "undelete" in red. Not that I'd want to open or undelete this.... – David Thornley Sep 28 '09 at 19:12
  • I know, I'm also a 10K user, but I don't want to get into an argument with moderators, so that's why asked this question here – Philippe Leybaert Sep 28 '09 at 19:14
  • FWIW, if a moderator disagreed with you (and two other people - takes three votes to undelete), they would probably just lock the question - this keeps normal users from making any modifications to it (close/open/delete/undelete/etc) and is effectively the final verdict for most controversial questions. – Shog9 Sep 28 '09 at 19:19
  • 1
    That question could be applied to many different professions, not just programmers. Do people honestly worry about such things? – Troggy Sep 28 '09 at 21:37
  • It may belong to superuser though. ( wasn't SU meant to hold all this kind of Q? :P ) – OscarRyz Sep 28 '09 at 21:52
  • 2
    @Oscar I disagree, I believe this would be closed just as fast on SU. – Troggy Sep 28 '09 at 21:57
  • 1
    @Oscar: SU was never meant to hold any question like that. Try eharmony. – Troggy Nov 4 '09 at 20:06

after seeing the comments, it occurred to me that it WAS related to the software development industry, and lots of young developers have these concerns.

Lots of young people have these concerns, including programmers. Stereotypes aside, there's nothing very specific about programmers / software developers here.

Followup question: can a question be voted to be undeleted? And if so, is it appropriate to do so?

Yes. But not in this case: the OP himself wanted it to be deleted, and requested that a moderator do so. In the absence of any compelling reason to preserve the question (say, valuable and unique technical information contained in an answer), you should respect this and leave it deleted.

  • You have a point. Sorry I asked this question (especially to the downvoter) – Philippe Leybaert Sep 28 '09 at 19:12
  • 1
    +1: I saw the question after the community closed it, and left it at that. I only deleted it a few minutes later after the OP requested it via moderator flag. – Bill the Lizard Sep 28 '09 at 19:56

Remember: Programmer-related != Programming-related.

Another way to think about it: if this were another more general site, would you naturally tag your question as "programming", or something else?

In this case, you might use that tag, but only if you were somehow restricted to a narrow set of tags and programming was the closest fit. A more natural tag choice is "programmers" and "romance". But not "programming".

  • 4
    +1. That puts it so simply that the FAQ ought to be updated to include that verbiage. – George Stocker Nov 4 '09 at 18:29
  • I saw this answer right when I started using meta, and have been looking for it again ever since. I wish I could favorite an answer. – Pops May 12 '10 at 14:55

My decision method is to imagine it on UnbalancedColumns or BadPrecedent, which would be equivalents for accountants and lawyers. If it works just as well there, it's definitely not programming-related.

Since I can easily imagine this advice for lawyers and accountants, I consider this definitely not programming-related. The same thing would be true of a question on the best car for a programmer to drive, or an exercise program for programmers.

  • 2
    +1: I have an ever-increasing need for an exercise program for programmers, but it's just not a question for SO. :) – Bill the Lizard Sep 28 '09 at 20:20

The question cannot be answered by writing code or reading a reference book, so it is not a programming-related question.

It is, however, sound advice for any kind of engineer. ;-)

  • We have a saying here in Belgium: I wouldn't want to feed everyone who asked a question (which wasn't closed) that can't be anewered by writing code or reading a reference book. Meaning that a lot of community question don't follow this "simple" rule. – Philippe Leybaert Sep 28 '09 at 19:09
  • I don't think the advice is true at all. If you're the sort who is romantically doomed once in the software industry, you're also not going to have any success in college. – Rex M Sep 28 '09 at 19:11
  • @Philippe: I've heard that Belgians make delicious waffles. If true, I agree wholeheartedly with that saying, as waffles should be reserved for those who provide positive, on-topic contributions to the site. Semi-OT: i sure could go for some waffles right now... – Shog9 Sep 28 '09 at 19:14
  • 3
    @Shog9: We make the best waffles, the best chocolate and the best beer. Other than that, our country is worthless (bad weather, 65% taxes, traffic hell, ...) – Philippe Leybaert Sep 28 '09 at 19:16
  • 1
    @Philippe: You had me at beer. – perbert Sep 28 '09 at 20:21
  • @[Philippe Leybaert]: I can't possibly close every non-programming-related question, I have to sleep (unlike Jon Skeet). – Steven A. Lowe Sep 29 '09 at 2:13

My stance would be this, if the question is subject, argumentative, and/or more for fun than actually solving a problem, the default, the likelihood is that the question should and will get closed. There are absolutely some well known exceptions, occasionally enough people are in the right mood, that a question will take off and people will have a lot of fun with it, but typically, these question can and will get shut down. Every now and then, a little bit of "community building" by way of entertainment may slip through, but generally, its not going to happen, since those kind of questions do not really fall within the scope and intent of SO (et al).

(*note, I can't comment specifically on the question you're referring to because I didn't see it)


Remember also, just because someone adds "for a programmer" to the end of question does not automaticly make it programming related.


Programming related means it's directly about programming software.

This can mean ancillary things, as long as they are directly about the act of programming (like books and website recommendations).

  • Well? Is this question programming-related or not? I lean towards "yes". – Philippe Leybaert Sep 28 '09 at 19:03
  • 6
    Absolutely not. This question has nothing to do with programming and is only barely, tangentially related to the software industry. – Rex M Sep 28 '09 at 19:04

This is not programming related, but as an aside my software architecture professor (a class about developing for and in teams) once took a day out to demo problem solving on domains that are hard to prove as solvable. His choice of example was how to optimize your choice of a mate. This is a problem that a large number of people are interested in.

There were some assumptions, such as, you needed more than 4 months to determine how much you loved someone and a year to determine if that person was someone you'd marry; you needed to marry by age 29 but couldn't seriously start looking before 20 due to dating in your age group and general maturity and mutual interest in marriage. Additionally it was assumed that you couldn't universally measure the degree of love quantitatively but that you could accurately compare it in scale to your previous relationship, and with less accuracy relationships before those.

These assumptions boil down to an approach where you calculate that you'll get about 6 to 10 opportunities, due to time spent between relationships, out of which the first two should not be candidates and instead used as a baseline. Should you experience a positive difference in love that is notably greater than the previous positive difference, you should seek to get married. This of course can't guarantee that you'll get agreement on this.

There, now it's vaguely programming related.

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .