This is majorly based on experience and some part is hypothetical.

We generally see that some users rage quit after a bad experience on the site like a suspension or closing of questions. While some other users leave a site or become inactive to balance real life and SE life.

A few users declare it on chat before deleting their account or becoming inactive. I have seen such messages in chat rooms and comments. I have flagged such comments because they add nothing to the post. But what to do when they declare it in a chat room before rage quitting?

I am more thinking of rage quitting because such conversations are sensitive to handle and attract flags. The users are good contributors and having a good name on the chat. But when they start targeting or say objectional messages, it would affect on their reputation (not the points). They accuse some users and cross the "Code of Conduct" before they leave. For example. Is saying something like "Bye. Don't devastate your name before leaving. Have a good farewell then" crossing CoC ? (Honestly without any sarcasm.) Does that guarantee a chat ban?

Should we always try bring the user back and ask to stay when they say they are leaving? Given that we know they have reasons for leaving? (I say this because I remember reading lines like "users are not important. Content is" and saw moderators ignoring messages about users leaving and saying "We can do nothing. We can't everyone". Having said that, I don't undermine their value either)? Is it considered rude to bid a farewell? What is the ideal reply in such cases?

  • 2
    Do what you want. Reply or don't. Choose yourself. There isn't a "ideal reply" in any case. It depends on your state of mind, your motivation to do something, the user in question, the circumstances of their leaving, ....
    – Magisch
    Commented Oct 21, 2018 at 5:44
  • 7
    Sigh, I'm so done with these discussions. I rage quit.
    – rene
    Commented Oct 21, 2018 at 6:50
  • 6
    Please please @rene you have been a great flower on the site. You have spread your aroma all over the network. Your absensce will make the network a bad place with rotten cheese. Please reconsider your decision. ;-)
    – Nog Shine
    Commented Oct 21, 2018 at 6:52

3 Answers 3


Don't do anything

Ragequits tend to happen at a time of high emotions. Asking people to justify or change their behavior while they are feeling a "fight or flight" emotion is asking for unnecessary problems - profanity, criticism, inappropriate behavior, etc. Let people calm down - don't rile them up.

If a user just wants to leave, let them. If they want to come back later, let them, and consider asking about their experience. Nobody is required to post, chat, edit, or do anything here. If someone has found a community that works better for them, it is better if they participate there than it would be if they contribute ineffectively here or post low-quality content here.


It depends.

Some people might be doing it because people might worry, legitimately if they suddenly disappear. I'm certainly going to need to tell people if I'm suddenly in a job where time is a lot scarcer than it is.

Other times they want to make a point, or just get attention well, consider if it helps Your example is essentially "Don't let you hit the door on your way out".

Yeah, we focus on content, not users as far as posts go. That said, we cannot forget that somehow there's a community full of people that use the site. And we're not machines focused on churning out and curating content.

As a moderator - I'm only human. No matter what - there's going to be a few people unhappy with how I choose to handle specific situations. Even the community team, who're an excellent, professional team whose job title is literally community managements arn't always going to be able to keep everyone happy all the time. There comes a point where trying to keep someone who wants to leave, or wants people to know they are gone isn't going to be productive. They may come back, they may not, or we might actually better off with them gone.

To me, the right reply comes from the heart. Assuming it's diplomatic - Someone ragequitting might not react well to "Don't devastate your name before leaving.". Take care's a nice thing to say.

It's a wide internet, and surprisingly some people might be happier elsewhere.

  • 2
    The idiom goes "don't let the door hit you on your way out", not "don't let you hit the door on your way out", but otherwise, good answer :)
    – Magisch
    Commented Oct 21, 2018 at 5:44
  • Reeeaaalllly? I guess I have got it wrong for years 😁😁😁 Commented Oct 21, 2018 at 5:47
  • The thing is the rage quitter didn't take it as rude. I'm asking according to CoC. Does saying "Don't devastate your name..." guarantee a chat ban considering as rude according to new CoC?
    – Nog Shine
    Commented Oct 21, 2018 at 6:55
  • 1
    Ehhh. I'm personally of the opinion the COC does not trump common sense and diplomacy. The broader conversation is important Commented Oct 21, 2018 at 7:15
  • Well, the user who said didn't feel it's rude. The user to whom it was said didn't feel it's rude (using common sense). But the mod said it is according to CoC. Any further discussion saying it's not rude was bulk deleted. But the user who said "Don't devastate.. " got chat banned and got warnings.
    – Nog Shine
    Commented Oct 21, 2018 at 7:57
  • 1
    @NogShine This sounds a little like you're more debating about a specific chat message and why it got the poster suspended rather than asking the very borad and general question you did. I'd advise not mixing the two too much in order to not lose the question among the details of a single incident noone actually knows anything about. Commented Oct 21, 2018 at 12:33
  • @ChristianRau This is a general and broad question. I only wanted to know what is the correct response when someone declares they are leaving. Journeyman added a response that Take Care is fine. But I am confused on what rude is there in the given example. (That was not the actual message).
    – Nog Shine
    Commented Oct 21, 2018 at 16:56

Last year, I was one of the most active persons on SO and other SE sites. I spent nearly 10-12 hours per day on the site. While working, I always kept 3 tabs open on my browser, one my work email, one SO questions page and the other one being MSE questions page. At that time, I worked as a developer in a company. In October, I resigned from the job and started my career as an Independent Security Researcher. I tried keeping an eye on both SO and my work but I couldn't. The new job required more time and effort and it didn't offer a fixed income. If I work, I could earn. So, I had to stop using SO entirely. I think I announced it in chat. After receiving some bounties, I am slowly getting back to SO now.

To answer your question, it depends. If the person is rage quitting, probably you can't convince them. Reply them they may see not only humans but also dogs, cats, birds and other animals in some communities. If it is because of massive downvotes, tell them internet points worth nothing. If they're leaving for work-life balancing, then you should understand their situation, and thank them for what they've done. If they get a chance, they'll come back to the community.

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