According to the new CoC:
Q9: Do I have to use pronouns I’m unfamiliar or uncomfortable with (e.g., neopronouns like xe, zir, ne... )?
Yes, if those are stated by the individual.
Q10: What if I believe it is grammatically incorrect to use some pronouns (e.g. they/them to refer to a single person)?
If they are the pronouns stated by the individual, you must respect that and use them. Grammar concerns do not override a person’s right to self identify.
Q11: If I’m uncomfortable with a particular pronoun, can I just avoid using it?
We are asking everyone to use all stated pronouns as you would naturally write. Explicitly avoiding using someone’s pronouns because you are uncomfortable is a way of refusing to recognise their identity and is a violation of the Code of Conduct.
Q12: Does this mean I’m required to use pronouns when I normally wouldn’t?
We are asking everyone to use all stated pronouns as you would naturally write. You are not required to insert pronouns where you otherwise would not.
I've kept this in mind since I joined the site (or at the very least, I have made every attempt to), and I have been referring to users in the second (you) and third person (they/them) to avoid having to remember pronouns, change how I speak to members of the community and most importantly in order to include all members in my answers.
I would like to know how to refer to members of the SE network in neutral terms, because right now it seems like I'll be forced to only include the pronouns of the original poster of a question in my answer, rather than try to embrace the entire community in my answers and comments (by using neutral terms for everyone)
Could my attempt to include the community see me get reported for violating the CoC?
I believe this is the very same question that got a moderator fired, and caused a backlash that the community is still reeling from.
By the terms used in the CoC, it seems like you are compelling us to divide the community into categories rather than use this Q&A site with the mindset that any single person could be reading our answers, so we should adjust our language to suit a more generalised audience.
Also when looking at violations (and violators), how are we going to differentiate between people who have autism, non-native English speakers, those with a religious reason1 (who are trying to follow the same methodology that I am) and those who are being malicious in their intentions?
1. I know people are going to state "religious reasons aren't reasons to discriminate", but (if interpreted as written) this part of the CoC could be likened to force feeding bacon to a devout Muslim
This is a question that has been repeatedly asked by the community, with no visible answer, which is why I've posted this away from the main CoC thread, and why I believe it should be answered separately. A member of the community asking this exact question can now search for this question, and find the answers below. As such I do not believe it warrants being marked as a duplicate
This answer pertains to the CoC when it was being constructed by the SE staff in (supposed) collaboration with the moderator community, whereby asking similar questions to mine resulted in the firing of that moderator.
This is a controversial subject, and I request that we be mindful in the comments when discussing this, because it does have very real consequences for both the lavender community and the wider SE community
This question is about how to include the whole SE network without "othering" any part of the community as a whole.