This may be a bit weird, but I voted to close my own question and I'm grateful to the other 4 of you — Yvette (she), Beloved Fool (they), Sonic (?), and Robert (I'm guessing he) — who quickly followed suit.
As multiple people told me in the comments, the question isn't helpful and only serves to further entrench everyone's positions and be unkind to each other. That wasn't my intention, and I'm sorry. I realized too late that there was absolutely no common ground to stand on.
For what it's worth, had we been able to talk to each other face to face, there might have been more chance of understanding each other.
Anyway: It's been a good run here on the network for the last few years and I've enjoyed my time, but it's time to make room and say goodbye, at least for now.
Best of luck resolving this mess we found ourselves in. Maybe we can at least agree that nobody wanted that. I sincerely hope you all succeed to rebuild what was damaged in the last days, and again, I'm sorry if I have added to that damage.
I saw people are voting to reopen this. You are of course free to do so, but my personal preference would be to leave it closed and let it die in peace. This question isn't the best legacy to leave behind.
I've left a minimal version of the original question behind. It no longer contains my half-baked attempt to find middle ground, which I assume was one of the reasons many found the original offensive, but it leaves enough context so Leopold's answer still makes sense.
If you're not too young, you might remember Things you should never do, Part I. In it, Joel Spolsky talks about iteration vs rewriting code. I thought some of it applied to the current situation if you liberally substituted "SE communities" for "code".
If SE management meant to iterate originally, it sure looks like they skipped a couple of steps and are now dealing with a revolution instead. What would be the problem with slowing down a bit instead of staying the course? The turmoil here isn't the result of iteration. There are CMs who were openly wondering (in chat) how close SE came to dying.
Social change rarely works if it's prescribed to a society from the outside. Radically changing people's thoughts by force has, as far as I'm aware, never worked long-term, and not for the lack of trying.
What actually works to change societies long-term is slow iteration. Small moves, Ellie!
LGBTQ+ activists, SE policy makers: Why insist on letting revolution run it's course when iteration's chances of success are better? (Or, if you don't think this is a revolutionary change: Why not slow down and continue in smaller steps that can actually be recognized as iteration?)