You seem to be getting hung up on this text from the help center on Stack Overflow:
if your question generally covers…software tools commonly used by programmers…then you’re in the right place to ask your question!
However, you're reading this completely wrong. That means if you're having a question regarding a specific tool that you're using (such as Visual Studio or Eclipse), then it's probably on topic. For example "Why am I not hitting this breakpoint I set in my IDE?" would be on topic. Then we get to the next part of the help page:
Some questions are still off-topic, even if they fit into one of the categories listed above...Questions asking us to recommend or find a book, tool, software library, tutorial or other off-site resource are off-topic for Stack Overflow as they tend to attract opinionated answers and spam.
That means that while you might ask about how to use a specific tool, you can't ask for someone to recommend an alternative to that tool, you can't ask for someone to recommend extensions to that tool etc.
I believe the wording here is about as plain as can be made. You seem to not be wanting to read it that way, simply because you disagree with it (and yes, I pointed this out to you and you seem to have read the help page before asking your question here on Meta). While I understand it's frustrating to find out you can't use Stack Overflow like that, we've got good reasons for our rules. Stack Overflow is not meant to be a discussion forum: it's more like Wikipedia. We have a narrow scope, and we want high quality questions and answers.
I admit that as a person with a full time job, taking several classes, and has two children at home to provide for, I haven't had time to read every page of SO's manuals to completion.
We don't expect you to read every single help page. But we do expect users to read The Tour when they join the site, which states "Don't ask about...Product or service recommendations or comparisons". I would also expect a new user to read the help page on asking and answering questions before asking or answering questions. And certainly I would expect them to listen to experienced users who try to guide them on what the site is for, rather than attempting to argue about it. I get that you have a life outside of Stack Overflow - most of us do too. I don't think that's a good reason to ignore our rules.