This post's vote count does not accurately display the votes. Because someone just had to complain.

From my lengthy experience at Stack Overflow, I believe that this is a conspiracy against us all! Jeff Atwood doesn't want his posts to look horrible so he created 10 sock puppet accounts to up vote him. Why does he not want these posts to look horrible?

It is all an evil conspiracy I tell you! The more upvotes he gets, the better he looks in the community's eyes. Thus he secretly tricks us all into believing what he says is gold. It is a plot to bring back the concept of divine right!

Then, when he has successfully tricked us all into accepting every word he utters, he will tell us all to program him machines to make waffles! And not just any waffles; these are waffles that will be delivered to him on the backs of domesticated ponies! Furthermore, he will attempt to create the perfect waffle maker! With so many developers at his disposal, there is no way he could lose! He will attempt to break the last law Einstein ever developed: That the first waffle must always be the worst!

He will try to make a waffle maker that is so completely perfect that the first waffle will be cooked perfectly through, thus proving Einstein's theory wrong. Why would he do this you might ask?

Elementary my dear child. You see, once he has proved Einstein's theory wrong, he can slowly take over small pancake and waffle houses, and eventually move all the way up and conquer the International House of Pancakes, and change it to be the International House of Waffles!

Once he has turned that, we will all see his true intentions. You see, the mayor of a little town in Louisiana loves the House of Pancakes, however he despises waffles. As we all know, Louisiana is the biggest producer of rubber chickens. Therefore, the mayor will take the rubber chickens and begin to place them in random parts of California's Governor's mansion. There, Arnold Schwarzenegger will fall flat on his face, and then grab his nuclear missiles and threaten Louisiana. Of course, Louisiana is also the biggest producer of bacon. And you see, Jeff Atwood hates bacon, as shown by his avatar:

alt text

You see, this is a picture of someone eating bacon. But, this is no normal person, as no one on earth could actually hate bacon. Therefore, Jeff Atwood must be an alien who has a secret weakness to bacon and is attempting to destroy all the bacon in the world! When he has destroyed bacon, the world will fall into chaos and some stupid programmer will create something similar to Y2K. Then, everyone will rush to Stack Overflow to solve the problem of why their toilets are continually getting clogged up, made by what I like to call Y2.5k, and they will be forced to upvote his answers to their questions!

I've figured you out, Jeff Atwood!

In the above post, all facts about Famous People, State Industrial Production, and Historical Figures are assumed to be true.

closed as not constructive by animuson, jonsca, ale, Pops, yoozer8 Aug 20 '12 at 18:53

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  • 1
    You should now add a new bug report because there's a -7 question on the homepage – juan Mar 18 '10 at 13:13
  • 6
    I give this a 7/10 on the Welbog Scale of Insanity. – mmyers Mar 18 '10 at 17:52
  • @mmyers: Is it some kind of logarithmic scale? :) – xmm0 Mar 21 '10 at 12:54
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    @Fearless: No, but anything incomprehensible automatically gets at least a 5. – mmyers Mar 22 '10 at 14:14

It's how some people think pity upvotes aren't that bad a situation or no situation at all because you can't read intent behind how people vote.

And then you find this mind-reading insight:

I should also add that I think this was downvoted for hilarity and not because the community thinks it is a bad idea. I am all for hilarity but not when it prevents discussion of a semi-important policy change.
- Jeff Atwood

You thought the community was you? You're wrong. It's Jeff Atwood.

So the bacon says if the community is against a feature request or policy change, but the oink oink says it's good and cracklin', then it'll be [status-completed] soon enough.

Thank you mister money man VC with your bling and ka-ching.

  • I can't upvote this post enough (I tried, but it keeps going up, and down, up, and down) – juan Mar 19 '10 at 18:29

The daily scripts will normalize the vote counts to their actual values anyway. So within 24 hours it will be back to "normal".

  • 1
    What about the bacon? – Tyler Carter Mar 18 '10 at 4:06
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    @Chacha102: The bacon is a lie... – Sampson Mar 18 '10 at 4:07
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    The funny thing is that it may work against you - by artificially inflating the vote, you may encourage people to downvote who wouldn't have it if was already negative, or very low, while others won't choose to upvote because it's in the double digits already. – Adam Davis Mar 18 '10 at 4:11
  • And what would be a bacon cake? – juan Mar 18 '10 at 21:00

He will try to make a waffle maker that is so completely perfect […]

I have very serious doubts about that. Jeff has admitted openly to having an affinity to a certain kind of waffle maker:

alt text http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/8200/hellokittywafflemaker.jpg

He's hooked. He's not going to want to replace this with something that is merely "completely perfect."

  • 1
    yes, exactly, why would I try to create a perfect waffle maker when it already exists!? – Jeff Atwood Mar 18 '10 at 6:50

He only likes beef jerky. The bacon hater in him is fully armed and operational!


Note: This answer was provided before the conspiracy was uncovered

From the comments on that post:

I cleared all votes on this post because I want it to get discussion. Ironically I can no longer lock it to prevent voting because locking now prevents answers from being added.. so I am adding +10 denormalized (not real, no data is backing them) votes as a cheap substitute for locking, for the moment. – Jeff Atwood♦ 3 hours ago

  • 4
    This is something I can downvote in clear conscience! – Andrew Grimm Mar 18 '10 at 4:00
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    @Andrew: This is Meta, no conscience is needed for any voting apparently :) – Sampson Mar 18 '10 at 4:01
  • THIS IS META!!! – Andrew Grimm Mar 18 '10 at 4:03
  • 6
    No.... THIS IS SPARTA!... No wait .. you're right... – Tyler Carter Mar 18 '10 at 4:05

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