Egad! Tally ambulations nonpreſent on tranſportable æther mechaniſms!

Question

I am reclining at an inſtitution of youthful learning, waiting to retrieve my heir from his extracurricular exertions, when I determine to entertain myself with the frolicking frippery of delightfully pastel uniprong ponies.

Revealing my tranſportable computing mechaniſm I languidly key in the location of this æther repoſitory, and instruct the machine to do my bidding.

Arriving with ſome haſte, dᵫ to the local æther artery being of the third era, my mechaniſm tranſlated the æther doſſier into a format which I was able to comprehend.

Unable to contain my enthuſiaſm for the anticipated prancing, I haſtily incremented the doſſier tally, and pauſed as the machine performed its duty.

The tally increaſed, but my deſire was leſt wanting.

Unſatiſfied, I made another attempt, this time on a doſſier which I was certain deſerved the attention of other ætherheads.

Dear ſirs, I would tell you something of the diſappƣntment I suffered, were it not for the expectation that my ſoul, nay, my very being might forfeit were I to relive the account.

This alone must ſuffice: The delightfully pastel uniprong ponies were not preſent and ambulating as expected.

I do comprehend the limited reſources with which you are permitted to perform your duties, however this particular tranſportable computing mechaniſm is not uncommon, indeed is has captured a ſignificant public intereſt, and there are many, like myſelf, who conceal one on our perſons both day and night.

I beg you conſider my plea, and rectify this traveſty forthwith.

Answer 1

Kind Sir,

Upon learning of your lamentable predicament, I diligently repeated your experimentation on an aether mechanism of my own, only to uncover the fact that said uniprong ponies were indeed ambulatory, contrary to your claim made not several hours previous.

I hereby offer the following photo-representation as evidence of my endeavor.

Answer 2

I completely sympathize with your predicament, but I'm not certain it can be ascribed to your use of a particular transportable aether mechanism. I think it may just be a case of shyness on the part of the delightfully pastel uniprong ponies. I have intermittently experienced exactly the disappointment you have so eloquently described, even though my aether mechanism is neither transportable nor of the Apple persuasion.

The good news is that in most cases, I have found that quickly reversing my invoking of the tally, then invoking it again, has convinced the ponies that I mean them no harm, and they have consented to frolic within my humble (and delighting) view.

I console myself that their occasional shyness is meant merely to reinforce our appreciation of the uniprong ponies, and drive home how privileged we are to be graced by their presence.