I am reclining at an inſtitution of youthful learning, waiting to retrieve my heir from his extracurricular exertions, when I determine to entertain myself with the frolicking frippery of delightfully pastel uniprong ponies.

Revealing my tranſportable computing mechaniſm I languidly key in the location of this æther repoſitory, and instruct the machine to do my bidding.

Arriving with ſome haſte, dᵫ to the local æther artery being of the third era, my mechaniſm tranſlated the æther doſſier into a format which I was able to comprehend.

Unable to contain my enthuſiaſm for the anticipated prancing, I haſtily incremented the doſſier tally, and pauſed as the machine performed its duty.

The tally increaſed, but my deſire was leſt wanting.

Unſatiſfied, I made another attempt, this time on a doſſier which I was certain deſerved the attention of other ætherheads.

Dear ſirs, I would tell you something of the diſappƣntment I suffered, were it not for the expectation that my ſoul, nay, my very being might forfeit were I to relive the account.

This alone must ſuffice: The delightfully pastel uniprong ponies were not preſent and ambulating as expected.

I do comprehend the limited reſources with which you are permitted to perform your duties, however this particular tranſportable computing mechaniſm is not uncommon, indeed is has captured a ſignificant public intereſt, and there are many, like myſelf, who conceal one on our perſons both day and night.

I beg you conſider my plea, and rectify this traveſty forthwith.

  • 10
    Hmm. I got a delightfully pastel uniprong pony when I increased the tally of this dossier, so they are not gone. But you get to keep the increased tally anyway.
    – ughoavgfhw
    Commented Apr 1, 2011 at 22:09
  • 1
    @ughoavgfhw Perhaps, sir, you are using a different transportable computing mechanism? Mine is of the iOS variety from the Apple establishment.
    – Pollyanna
    Commented Apr 1, 2011 at 22:13
  • @rchern You are correct. Mine is also from the Apple establishment, but not of the iOS variety. I did not notice the ios marker on your dossier.
    – ughoavgfhw
    Commented Apr 1, 2011 at 22:15
  • Have you ever considered a career in the civil service with Sir Humphrey Appleby?
    – waiwai933
    Commented Apr 1, 2011 at 22:20
  • @waiwai933 You flatter me sir!
    – Pollyanna
    Commented Apr 1, 2011 at 22:24
  • 1
    Dr. Grordbort approves. Commented Apr 1, 2011 at 22:26
  • 11
    Verily, 'tis the most humor-laden query mine eyes have beheld since this morrow's dawn. Furthermore, I can with great vehemence attest to the veracity and persistence of this most singular phenomenon, being myself in possession of a similar piece of communications machinery. Commented Apr 1, 2011 at 22:31
  • 1
    Well my portable machinery gets to view the whole site (unipronged ponies and all), so clearly it is a problem with Apple... :P
    – John
    Commented Apr 2, 2011 at 1:42
  • Upon coming across this bulletin and perusing your words, I am convinced that on me has borne the responsibility to transform this ingenious work of prose into an adaptation of The Posh Mothershuckling Dangle Dongler Hour. Commented Apr 3, 2011 at 5:44
  • 1
    @waffles Yea, verily 'tis a bug.
    – Pollyanna
    Commented May 3, 2011 at 6:07
  • @waffles - 'Twas indeed a bug. SO (and Meta) were presenting themselves differently upon a particular type of aether-driven portable viewing-device, specifically those begotten of Messrs. Jobs and Wozniak. I'faith, I believe the "bug" designation was neither in error nor jest. Commented May 3, 2011 at 15:33

2 Answers 2


Kind Sir,

Upon learning of your lamentable predicament, I diligently repeated your experimentation on an aether mechanism of my own, only to uncover the fact that said uniprong ponies were indeed ambulatory, contrary to your claim made not several hours previous.

I hereby offer the following photo-representation as evidence of my endeavor.

enter image description here

  • 11
    Your most strikingly colored daguerreotype does indeed splendidly prove your truth.
    – mmyers
    Commented Apr 2, 2011 at 5:17

I completely sympathize with your predicament, but I'm not certain it can be ascribed to your use of a particular transportable aether mechanism. I think it may just be a case of shyness on the part of the delightfully pastel uniprong ponies. I have intermittently experienced exactly the disappointment you have so eloquently described, even though my aether mechanism is neither transportable nor of the Apple persuasion.

The good news is that in most cases, I have found that quickly reversing my invoking of the tally, then invoking it again, has convinced the ponies that I mean them no harm, and they have consented to frolic within my humble (and delighting) view.

I console myself that their occasional shyness is meant merely to reinforce our appreciation of the uniprong ponies, and drive home how privileged we are to be graced by their presence.

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