Jon Skeet Facts

Question

I'm looking for Chuck Norris Facts style answers. In case anyone is curious, this question was inspired by Jon's own comment to this question.

Now with official sanction from the powers that be!

Answer 1

• Jon Skeet keeps a daily backup of the Internet on his USB pendrive.
• Jon Skeet doesn't know how to debug — he doesn't need to.
• Jon Skeet can reach the Ballmer peak with distilled water.
• Now Linux runs also on Turing machines, thanks to Jon Skeet.
• Jon Skeet wrote a beautiful concerto for piano and orchestra which is also an ISO C compiler, after score2binary conversion.
• Jon Skeet's mouse has upvote, downvote and flag offensive buttons.^{[citation needed]}
• The Wall Street crisis was caused by a downvote to a Jon Skeet answer.
• When Jon Skeet reaches Captain Hewgill, the world will end.
• Only Jon Skeet knows that this sentence is true.
• Jon Skeet is the author of The Book of Answers, programmer's edition. In a moment of frustration, yesterday I opened it at a random page. It said: "You are trying to dereference a null pointer at line 525". Damn it, it was true!

Answer 2

God is real. Unless Jon Skeet declares it integer.

Answer 3

Jon Skeet mentioned my name in a comment and my reputation went up.

Answer 4

"Jon Skeet" is the Internet come alive. It's a cover name for all the world's computers forming themselves into a massive grid & amusing themselves on StackOverflow. His name is an anagram of "Net's Joke" - how obvious could it be?

Answer 5

Jon Skeet can reopen closed question on SO :)

Answer 6

Jon Skeet can execute an infinite loop in 1.55 seconds - that's how long it takes for him to simulate a universe from birth to heat death.

Answer 7

• When Jon Skeet scribbles something on a napkin, it's encoded in UTF-8, well-formed XML, and is an ISO standard. He does not need to request for comments.

• The truly serious hacker should consider learning C#, not Lisp. Because Jon Skeet wrote a book on C#.

• When Jon Skeet writes once, it does run everywhere. Regardless of the language.

• Jon Skeet uses butterflies.

• Jon Skeet reads your e-mail.

Answer 8

• Modern DNS systems ask Jon Skeet for the best route to the host.
• Any function written by Jon Skeet can only return 42. Co-workers have yet to report any errors caused by this.
• Windows displays the BSOD when Jon Skeet nears it.
• Jon Skeet programs in Binary, then compiles it into human-readable code.
• Jon Skeet once wrote a program that segfaulted. There were no survivors.

Answer 9

• Jon Skeet can make IE obey his CSS rules.

• Jon Skeet writes poems. In Assembly.

• Jon Skeet's comments compile and run as expected.

• All of a CPU's ALUs and FPUs can be replaced by a singe JSU (Jon Skeet Unit).

Answer 10

When Jon Skeet calls a method, it fires, even if it doesn't exist. The C# team noticed this, and added the dynamic keyword into C# 4.0...Originally it was going to be called the jonskeet keyword.

Answer 11

Console.WriteLine(typeof(System.Object).BaseType);

Output:

JonSkeet.System

Answer 12

• Jon Skeet does not write code. He edits binaries by hand while they are running.
• Jon Skeet invented C. When asked what he used to write it he replied "C++".

Answer 13

Jon Skeet created the matrix using COBOL because he was bored.

Answer 14

i earned almost all of my reputation just by answering questions with "See Jon Skeet's answer"

Answer 15

• Chuck Norris is Jon Skeet's retarded cousin.
• Jon Skeet can divide by zero.
• Unary operators happilly accept multiple operands from Jon Skeet.
• Jon Skeet can perform a low-level format on a hard drive simply by gently breathing on it.
• Spyware has an awkward feeling that it's being watched.
• When Jon Skeet finishes editing a question on Stack Overflow it auto-locks.
• Whenever Jon Skeet's hands prep themselves to type a key on a keyboard, somewhere in the world a bug fixes itself.
• Every time Jon Skeet clicks Post Your Answer an infertile woman conceives a child.
• Jon Skeet is the only Stack Overflow user who is allowed to vote up his own answers.
• Jon Skeet's answers don't have a vote down arrow.
• Jon Skeet found 256 errors in TAOCP.

Answer 16

• Jon Skeet once wrote a switch-statement back in the 80s. He hasn't written one since because it's still serving all his switching needs, and yours too, had you only access to it.

• When Jon Skeet stands up from his chair and walks over to the printer, his pyjamas creates enough static electricity to power a city. Too bad he never needs any print-outs.

• Jon Skeet can easily and leisurely read 400 words per minute, write 40 lines of code per minute, play chess in his head, build a server from three C64s, juggle 7 oranges and repeatadly refresh his browser window, all at the same time, in perfect time slices of 10ms per task. (And yes, the oranges freeze in mid-air when Jon Skeet switches context, although it happends so fast, it looks perfectly smooth.)

• Jon Skeet has 2 keyboards so that he can type at full speed on one while the other is cooling down.

• Jon Skeet's desktop background is a picture of his desktop background. You wouldn't understand it even if you saw it.

• Do you know why there's a shadow under your mouse cursor? Jon Skeet has hidden a small camera under it, so that he can see what you're clicking on.

Answer 17

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walked into a bar... and Jon Skeet is going to find out why...

Answer 18

Geico saved 0xf percent by switching to Jon Skeet.

Answer 19

Jon Skeet is the violent psychopath that knows where you live

Answer 20

When Jon Skeet programs in Forth, it automatically becomes First.

Answer 21

Jon Skeet can ROLLBACK after a successful COMMIT.

Answer 22

• When you find a bug in Jon Skeet's code, you are wrong: it is a feature
• There's no need to set the optimization flags when compiling Jon Skeet's code: it cannot be optimized further
• For any problem, Jon Skeet's algorithm run faster than the theoretical lower bound

Answer 23

• Jon Skeet already discovered the Higgs boson using a 6th grade chemistry set and a laser pointer.
• Jon Skeet renamed the Higgs boson to "Jon Skeet" so CERN wouldn't find it.
• Jon Skeet is developing a new game "Coding Hero" for us to play so we can pretend to be as cool as he is.
• Jon Skeet has already defeated the Lich King, solo.
• Jon Skeet's hard disk self-defragments, not by schedule but by fear.

Answer 24

Jon Skeet doesn't use compiler... he types executable files in notepad.

Answer 25

Jon Skeet's wisdom is so profound that when he answers a question about C#, the world's accumulated knowledge about everything else increases by 50%.

Answer 26

Jon Skeet's keyboard has only two buttons: 1 and 0

Answer 27

Q: Jon Skeet once challenged Jon Skeet to a coding contest. Who won?
A: Jon Skeet. Twice.

Answer 28

Jon Skeet fixed PC Load Letter. ^

Answer 29

Jon Skeet doesn't write answers in response to questions, he writes the answers then waits for the question to be asked.

Answer 30

Jon Skeet can bit-shift in 3 dimensions, not just left and right, but up/down, and forward/back too!