Jon Skeet Facts

Question

I'm looking for Chuck Norris Facts style answers. In case anyone is curious, this question was inspired by Jon's own comment to this question.

Now with official sanction from the powers that be!

Answer 1

Jon Skeet doesn't unit test.

Jon Skeet is the unit test.

Answer 2

Jon Skeet is the open source alternative to Resharper

Jon Skeet has no need for SCRUM - Jon Skeet is a one-man waterfall.

EDIT

To Jon Skeet Open Source, Closed source and non existing source is all the same.

Answer 3

Jon Skeet wrote the very first working C# compiler in C#.

Jon Skeet plans to use SHA-3 as a very efficient compression algorithm.

Jon Skeet has no problems writing multithreaded code, whenever there's a race condition, he always wins.

Jon Skeet knows what "PC Load Letter" means

Jon skeet once wrote a production quality OS kernel using nothing but Microsoft Project

Answer 4

Jon Skeet has proven that his toaster is monadic.

Answer 5

WOPR actually said: "A strange game. The only winning move is not to play against Jon Skeet."

Answer 6

I can't help but try out a few of my own:

• Hofstadter's Law states: "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account." Skeet's Law states: "When Jon Skeet needs something done, it will blink into existence already complete, regardless of any other laws you take into account. He then punches Hofstadter in the amygdala... ONLY the amygdala."

• Jon Skeet has no heart. His brain pulsates strongly enough to circulate blood.

• Jon Skeet was unhappy with binary, so he invented his own number system called "Skeetnary". It's a base-infinity system.

• Jon Skeet once caused a stack overflow in his brain when he tried to comprehend his own greatness. We refer to it as "The Big Bang."

• The first rule of Jon Skeet is "You do not talk about Jon Skeet!" The second rule... oh crap!... BOOM!!!... (Jon Skeet telepathically explodes gnovice's head)

Answer 7

When Jon Skeet gets sent to /dev/null, he survives.

Answer 8

• Jon Skeet doesn't answer questions. He just looks at his keyboard and it begins typing out of fear.
• Jon Skeet's tag inspired the rest of the tags on the site.

Answer 9

Jon Skeet does not have to end his code statements with semi-colons.

Answer 10

• If Jon-Skeet's program fails to compile they fix the compiler.
• Jon-Skeet's has written a SCM platform of his own. It downloads code from his brain while he sleeps.
• Jon-Skeet doesn't program, he just draws on the Code. A type of force in the universe that was spawned at his birth.
• The original abacus wasn't invented. It was Jon-Skeet as a baby.

More

• The halting problem was invented by Jon-Skeet. He sees it as a solution, not a problem.
• Jon-Skeet helped the aliens invent the transistor.
• Each strand of Jon-Skeet's hair is a CPU core. He has a tiny black hole in his brain where he stores data.

• Jon-Skeet thought it may be funny to be able to prove that 1 != 1 when he invented mathematics.

• Jon-Skeet doesn't sleep, he just serializes for a few hours.

• The underflow error thrown by (chuckNorris / jonSkeet) can never be caught or handled.

Even More

• Microsoft is a JSVP (Jon Skeet Valued Professional)

Answer 11

While in the act of inventing recursion, Jon Skeet paused to invent recursion.

Answer 12

Q: What language did God code the universe in?

A: None of them. God didn't code the universe, but rather asked Jon Skeet to do it. God said "please".

Answer 13

Mozilla originally wanted to name the "awesome bar" the "Skeet bar", but Jon thought that would be pushing things a little too much.

Answer 14

Jon Skeet handles all my exceptions

try
{
    // insert code here
}
catch(Exception ex)
{
  JonSkeet(ex);
}

Answer 15

When Jon Skeet takes a break, SO Server comes to idle.

Answer 16

Q: how many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: none, Jon Skeet already changed them, all at once, with a generic recursive structure using reflection

Answer 17

• MD5 checksum of 'Jon Skeet' is 'Jon Skeet'.
• When Jon Skeet performs a select on a non-existing table, the DB engine creates it on-the-fly

Answer 18

Jon Skeet could explain every answer to this question to your Mom.

Answer 19

Jon Skeet is so good that he is the only guy allowed to use multiple inheritance in C#.

Answer 20

Jon Skeet can do "undo" (^Z), even writing over a paper sheet!

Answer 21

If Chuck Norris needs software, he will ask Jon Skeet to write it.

Answer 22

Jon Skeet is NP-complete.

Answer 23

Jon Skeet's Map-Reduce implementation collapses the known universe into a singularity

Jon Skeet implemented an algorithm to reverse entropy

Answer 24

Jon Skeet can compress 1GB of information into one byte.

Jon Skeet doesn't needs drivers, he tells the hardware what to do.

Jon Skeet's computer can't take viruses, they're too afraid of him.

Jon Skeet can speak to computers, because he compiles his thoughts.

When Jon Skeet needs an operating system, the OS writes himself.

Answer 25

Jon Skeet creates Java classes that are both final and abstract.

Answer 26

For Jon Skeet, a stack overflow is nothing but a poorly capitalised name of a popular website for developers.

Answer 27

Jon Skeet NEVER has to "su -root".

Answer 28

Jon Skeet wrote a compiler - and compiled himself.

Answer 29

Jon Skeet beat the boss at the last level of C#, and got every achievement possible, even a couple that was never added.

Answer 30

Jon Skeet solved the halting problem.