How to handle immature users?

Question

With regard to this post on SO:

Uncheck all Button for uitableviewcellassesorycheckmark (Now deleted)

The OP asked a vague question, some comments ensued (from 4 down, here they are):

There are many, many ways to do it. It completely depends on the implementation you are using for checking/unchecking the cells. This question is too vague to answer in its current form. You'll have to be more specific. – PengOne

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i know how to program, i just needed an idea of how to do this because ive already tried but i didnt succeed so i asked for help. – kurt moyer

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@kurt: OK, but please review the SO FAQ for guidelines about how to ask questions here. Please be specific and post relevant code. – PengOne

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@PengOne you = cockSucker - kurt moyer

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@kurt: There is no need to be rude or offensive. I am merely trying to help you understand how SO works, and how to ask effective questions that receive helpful answers. – PengOne

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that doesnt mean ur not a cocksucker!!! :P haha – kurt moyer

The question had a score of -5 last time I checked.

Here's the question: How should one handle a situation such as this?

Here's what I did: I flagged his first offensive comment before responding. Then I flagged his second offensive comment and do not intend to respond further. I probably should have ignored the question and moved on, and I'll work on doing that in the future.

Any suggestions for what should have been done differently to keep the situation from deteriorating?

Answer 1

First off, I feel that you handled this situation in a superb fashion, through trying to control your own emotions and teaching the individual the error of his/her ways. Situations like this are very difficult to handle because no matter what happens, most likely they're not going to be nice/responsive to what you say. Some suggestions though that I have are:

1. Invite the user to talk about the issue on chat:

   • avoids 'fluff' on questions/answers that aren't needed) Also allows for others to easily weigh in. SuperUser has a specific [chat room][1] dedicated to asking mods questions and can be a good place to discuss issues.

2. Flag and ignore:

   • Ignoring, I have found, can be the most powerful tool that you have. If they don't get a response, they don't get the pleasure/power of the reaction. [1]: https://chat.stackexchange.com/rooms/114/ask-a-super-user-moderator

Answer 2

Flagging the first offensive comment was the right thing to do.

Probably the only thing you could've done beyond that was to stop responding sooner and not reply to the first offensive comment at all.

Answer 3

This is an interesting situation, because it seems (at least to me) that offensive users are a fairly uncommon or even rare occurrence on Stack Overflow and most sites in the network.

Part of the reason I use SO (and a few of the other sites less frequently) so much isn't just because of the vast amount of knowledge our collective minds possess, but because it has such a great community that is friendly, polite and helpful over 99% of the time. I'm sure many agree so I think reacting to rude/impolite/offensive users in the correct way is an important part of keeping our communities healthy. +1 to you for bringing this up.

I can't say I've had much experience dealing with users such as these, but I think the best thing to do (as you did) would be to just respond civilly to their post/comment telling them such behavior is not acceptable, and to flag their post/comment for moderator attention.

Answer 4

This user posted at least three such comments. The first one was before he started addressing you directly -- I don't remember the exact text, but it referred to "all you guys". They were each deleted in turn, probably due to Offensive flags, before the next was posted.

I thought your comment was quite judicious. I had posted my own along the same lines:

@kurt: As amused as I am by your camel-cased cussing, that kind of language is not tolerated here. Please stop.

but decided to let you (being already directly involved) and the mods handle the situation.

I don't think there's anything further that could have been done. The fact that this user re-posted the same offensive sentiment three times indicates very strongly that this is a situation to be handled by moderators.

The question has now been deleted by the author. It also seems to have been a double-post of Uncheck every cell on tableView.

Answer 5

Wow. I've seen childish or rude behavior on SO before, but this is the first time I've ever seen it anywhere near this level. Anyway, my own method of dealing with a jerk on SO goes like this, in order of escalation:

1. Explain in a neutral tone what's wrong with his behavior, avoiding personal insults or threats of downvoting/flagging/etc.
2. Downvote the post (if applicable).
3. Refer to the FAQ (if helpful).
4. Stop responding. Ignore the behavior if it's not poisonous to the site.
5. Flag for moderator attention.

Looks like you followed the above. Where you may have gone wrong was following the normal anti-jerk procedure with a guy who was already way past the normal level of jerk. After the first time he said something that offensive, there wasn't much point in trying to educate him. He wasn't ever going to become a worthwhile participant, and anything you did was just going to lead to more name-calling. Best thing to do is give up on him, flag his posts, and stop commenting back. It's fun to bait trolls, but you're not going to reform them that way.

That being said, in no way am I suggesting any of this is your fault. You stayed professional and calm, didn't get drawn in to childish squabbling, and flagged appropriately before ignoring him. The only thing you could have done differently is stopped responding after the first time he called you a schoolyard name.