When I was still identifying as a woman, I already hated that people assumed I was a "he". It made me feel, as a woman, invisible. Like the idea of a woman liking what I liked was too impossible and, thus, that I could only be a man. It made me feel like, as a woman, I had no place here.

I now identify as non binary and I still hate it when people assume my gender. It feels like they are negating my very existence. It's not a good feeling at all.

I, once, had to argue with a user that I preferred to be called "they" rather than "he" or "she". It was only one user and, since some allies jumped in, I didn't have to do much talking (and I thank them for that). But it was still exhausting, it was still emotionally draining and it still made me feel terribly bad. And it was only **one** user. Who wasn't even being (intentionally) rude.

But they still wanted to be convinced before using my preferred pronouns. And, for me, this wasn't ok. Because, for me, it sounded like: 

> If you can convince me that you are really, *really* hurt by this behavior, I will stop. But if you only seem *slightly* hurt, I won't. Oh, and also, **I** will be the only one judging if you are hurt enough. Because your words don't really matter to me.

They probably didn't intend to make me feel like that. They certainly didn't even think that could be an issue. But they still ended up making me feel like crap.