Timeline for The 'new user, read our CoC' notifications make me feel unwelcome
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
11 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Oct 6, 2019 at 5:56 | comment | added | user245382 | "There isn't an opportunity for drama, for A-said-B-said, when everything has happened in public in writing." - This turned out not to be true, as a mod was just fired by SE staff for allegedly violating the CoC in private | |
| Oct 27, 2018 at 9:29 | comment | added | Kate Gregory | After dinner I found a little more patience. Hope you all feel reassured now. Hope the "what if they come for me" people can find a little empathy for the "I guess I don't belong there" people some day. | |
| Oct 27, 2018 at 9:28 | history | edited | Kate Gregory | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
added 2010 characters in body
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| Oct 27, 2018 at 7:12 | comment | added | Nathan Tuggy | I thought if you wanted to assert in the answer that CoCs aren't creepy and unpleasant, you might want to back that up in some way that isn't "trust me, they aren't, as long as you're not one of those awful people we don't want". Even a link to someone else's explanation. | |
| Oct 27, 2018 at 7:01 | comment | added | Kate Gregory | Go find someone with infinite patience who doesn't get irritated by constantly being asked to value the feelings of "oh no that might be aimed at me" over the feelings of "I guess they don't like my kind here." I am not an authority figure, and I am most assuredly not that patient. More importantly, I am not obliged to be, either. | |
| Oct 27, 2018 at 6:38 | comment | added | Nathan Tuggy | If an authority figure in a community has just accidentally scared a group of community members in some predictable way, how should that authority figure respond? With empathy, patience, and a desire to soothe unwarranted fears and prevent them from recurring. What was this response characterized by? | |
| Oct 27, 2018 at 6:09 | comment | added | Kate Gregory | Perhaps. It's just tiring that people respond "oh no, if there are rules, they might get aimed at me, but I am a good person, so I guess your rules are for putting fear into good people, this isn't right etc etc" and then job one is calming those fears. Like, why is that the top priority? And not just here, everywhere that adds a code of conduct. "We have to be polite? If you assault someone you might be asked to leave? This is terrifying! Someone please reassure me that I won't be affected by this!" Sigh. Is it so hard not to be in the centre all the time? | |
| Oct 27, 2018 at 6:05 | comment | added | Nathan Tuggy | In that case, it would seem very much to the purpose of "point[ing] out Codes of Conduct aren't creepy and unpleasant" for someone (you, Stack Exchange, whoever) to eloquently and winsomely describe the reasons no one need fear being either falsely accused of large CoC offenses or persecuted beyond justice for small CoC violations. | |
| Oct 27, 2018 at 5:55 | comment | added | Kate Gregory | Anyone who might be driven away for any reason. There's a whole lot of "I should be free to speak as I wish without fear of being told off" and not enough "everyone should be free to participate here without reading hateful things or deliberate insults that drive them away." Whether you're in a marginalized group or not doesn't matter to me, except that people who have a long history of being insulted and rejected will feel more hurt when they get another dose of it here, compared to a happy-go-lucky privileged person who gets one insult a year and says "get a thick skin" to those who object. | |
| Oct 27, 2018 at 5:47 | comment | added | Nathan Tuggy | I'm not clear on what your last line means. Are you referring specifically to the generally-recognized marginalized groups that are the usual intended beneficiaries of a CoC, or anyone whom the group might drive away for any reason, or perhaps anyone the group might drive away without good reason? | |
| Oct 27, 2018 at 4:04 | history | answered | Kate Gregory | CC BY-SA 4.0 |