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Partially adopt J.R.'s suggestion to add a new question instead
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This is something I'd been wondering but it didn't feel important enough to post, and now it does with this effort to rewrite the FAQ:

We're asking that when someone indicates what pronouns should be used to refer to them, you do as they say.

What constitutes the italicized part seems ambiguous, both in the original FAQ and this proposal: whether it's when the other person's profile states pronouns or when there is a direct communication about pronouns.

Assuming it's the latter and you don't need to look up user profiles proactively, as stated by a CM elsewhere, I'd clarify some wording in the proposal as:

Q. I want to let people know what my pronouns are. What should I do?
A. Put them in the "About me" section of your profile for those who want to proactively look up your pronouns. Do not assume others to have done so, however. When someone uses a pronoun you're uncomfortable with, let them know about your pronouns directly.

(Italicized parts are my additions.)

And add a new question:

Q. Does this mean thatAm I will be in trouble ifexpected to check somebody's profile before I ever get someone's pronouns wrongrefer to them using a pronoun?
A. No. It's fine not to know what they want. It's fine to make an honest mistake. You aren't asked to look up user profiles. But once you know what someone wants, please act accordingly.

(Italicized parts are my additions.)

or if this isn't exactly what's desirable, at least with the same level of unambiguity.

This clarification might sound like common sense that doesn't need to be stated, but having very unambiguous and clear descriptions of the expected behavior helps assuage anxiety when you don't have context on social expectations. Related: How should I deal with the new CoC as non-native English speaker?


This'll need to be rewritten again if SE adds pronouns to user cards or some such though.

This is something I'd been wondering but it didn't feel important enough to post, and now it does with this effort to rewrite the FAQ:

We're asking that when someone indicates what pronouns should be used to refer to them, you do as they say.

What constitutes the italicized part seems ambiguous, both in the original FAQ and this proposal: whether it's when the other person's profile states pronouns or when there is a direct communication about pronouns.

Assuming it's the latter and you don't need to look up user profiles proactively, as stated by a CM elsewhere, I'd clarify some wording in the proposal as:

Q. I want to let people know what my pronouns are. What should I do?
A. Put them in the "About me" section of your profile for those who want to proactively look up your pronouns. Do not assume others to have done so, however. When someone uses a pronoun you're uncomfortable with, let them know about your pronouns directly.

Q. Does this mean that I will be in trouble if I ever get someone's pronouns wrong?
A. No. It's fine not to know what they want. It's fine to make an honest mistake. You aren't asked to look up user profiles. But once you know what someone wants, please act accordingly.

(Italicized parts are my additions.)

or if this isn't exactly what's desirable, at least with the same level of unambiguity.

This clarification might sound like common sense that doesn't need to be stated, but having very unambiguous and clear descriptions of the expected behavior helps assuage anxiety when you don't have context on social expectations. Related: How should I deal with the new CoC as non-native English speaker?


This'll need to be rewritten again if SE adds pronouns to user cards or some such though.

This is something I'd been wondering but it didn't feel important enough to post, and now it does with this effort to rewrite the FAQ:

We're asking that when someone indicates what pronouns should be used to refer to them, you do as they say.

What constitutes the italicized part seems ambiguous, both in the original FAQ and this proposal: whether it's when the other person's profile states pronouns or when there is a direct communication about pronouns.

Assuming it's the latter and you don't need to look up user profiles proactively, as stated by a CM elsewhere, I'd clarify some wording in the proposal as:

Q. I want to let people know what my pronouns are. What should I do?
A. Put them in the "About me" section of your profile for those who want to proactively look up your pronouns. Do not assume others to have done so, however. When someone uses a pronoun you're uncomfortable with, let them know about your pronouns directly.

(Italicized parts are my additions.)

And add a new question:

Q. Am I expected to check somebody's profile before I refer to them using a pronoun?
A. No.

or if this isn't exactly what's desirable, at least with the same level of unambiguity.

This clarification might sound like common sense that doesn't need to be stated, but having very unambiguous and clear descriptions of the expected behavior helps assuage anxiety when you don't have context on social expectations. Related: How should I deal with the new CoC as non-native English speaker?


This'll need to be rewritten again if SE adds pronouns to user cards or some such though.

Source Link
ento
  • 770
  • 1
  • 5
  • 14

This is something I'd been wondering but it didn't feel important enough to post, and now it does with this effort to rewrite the FAQ:

We're asking that when someone indicates what pronouns should be used to refer to them, you do as they say.

What constitutes the italicized part seems ambiguous, both in the original FAQ and this proposal: whether it's when the other person's profile states pronouns or when there is a direct communication about pronouns.

Assuming it's the latter and you don't need to look up user profiles proactively, as stated by a CM elsewhere, I'd clarify some wording in the proposal as:

Q. I want to let people know what my pronouns are. What should I do?
A. Put them in the "About me" section of your profile for those who want to proactively look up your pronouns. Do not assume others to have done so, however. When someone uses a pronoun you're uncomfortable with, let them know about your pronouns directly.

Q. Does this mean that I will be in trouble if I ever get someone's pronouns wrong?
A. No. It's fine not to know what they want. It's fine to make an honest mistake. You aren't asked to look up user profiles. But once you know what someone wants, please act accordingly.

(Italicized parts are my additions.)

or if this isn't exactly what's desirable, at least with the same level of unambiguity.

This clarification might sound like common sense that doesn't need to be stated, but having very unambiguous and clear descriptions of the expected behavior helps assuage anxiety when you don't have context on social expectations. Related: How should I deal with the new CoC as non-native English speaker?


This'll need to be rewritten again if SE adds pronouns to user cards or some such though.