The Tale of the One who Never Knew
A fantasy retelling of a true story
Once upon a time, in the magical lands of Stack Exchange there were two equal admins who ruled together and created sites for all the users.
The lands where still unexplored, the gods still young and inexperienced. It was a time of dreams, a time when brave explorers traveled far and wide, searching for knowledge and answers to questions no one before had dared to ask. A time when legendary heroes would perform valiant deeds to forge the lands we walk today...
But our story isn't one of valiant knights, purple princesses and "fearsome" dragons. It isn't a story of someone which name went down in history. Instead, it is a story about the forgotten, the ones that didn't manage to find their ways into those bards songs.
It is also the story of a simple Archaeologist, a prize, a gray pony and a letter that never came. But let me start from the beginning.
Our actual tale begins in a small village on the border of the empire. A little colony called SharePoint, lost in the middle of the Thorns (in your side) Mountains, deep in the dark territory of the clan of the Microsoft orks. It was an unforgiving land, where resources where scarce and the bounty of upvotes a fortune few could hope to see. It was a dark place, yet a few explorer striven to live there, working hard each passing day so that the future generations may live in a better world. The Archaeologist was one of them. Not one of the famous ones, mind you. It was just a little gear in a bigger contraption, doing what he could to help others and spread a smile to the ones he could reach.
Many moons passed since those explorers came to that land, armed only of their dreams and hopes. They moved earth, carved stones, molded hills and channeled streams and flourished in their city. The few became hundreds and the hundreds became thousands. And the gods watched them and smiled.
Until the day came.
It was one cold morning at the start of the year, the Archaeologist was still busy with his "Winter Hats Wrap Up" day when the new came in. "The gods are sending their messengers to give us their blessing"... Those were the word everypo everyone was repeating across the city. All around the street, people were running frantically, hoping to improve their reputation, hoping to be among the chosen ones.
It was no long after that the messenger actually arrived in the city. A strange one, with her wings and that cute -maybe a little derpy- stare, dragging an old bag full of letters and other parchment. All the villagers had come to the city Meta Plaza, to hear the words their gods sent them.
"The gods have spoken", the gray one said "and they sent me there, for they are proud of your actions, brave people of SharePoint". A long pause, people looking each other smiling. Their actions would finally be recognized. All their work, all the cold nights... finally the gods were going to acknowledge all of that. The mare continued "As a token of their generosity, the gods will provide the best of you a recognition of their efforts, a finely weaved shirt with the insignia of your new city. Raise and be proud, people of SharePoint, for today your small village enters history. Today you are a city of the empire".
Screams of joy, clapping of hands (and a distinct sound of clapping hooves too) covered the rest of the speech. The Archaeologist tried its best to hear the rest, but to not avail. It was only when the celebrations ended that it was finally able to reach the center of the plaza. It searched for the gray one, for that messenger... but to not avail. She has already left. In its place, a piece of parchment with the royal insignia had been posted on the job board. On it some cryptic words.
As a thank you for being awesome, if you have at least 730 reputation and are on page 1 or page 2 of …
http://sharepoint.stackexchange.com/users?tab=reputation&filter=all
… we'll be sending you a little care package shortly.
The Archaeologist stared at those words, uncertain of their meaning. Who did the gods send to made that check? Even better, when did they perform it? It continued wondering as the time passed. "I am on page 2 of the Book of Mages" it told itself. "Yet I just got in, maybe they made their list before that" it kept repeating.
So the Archaeologist waited. And waited. And waited.
Trying to understand. Wanting to know if its name was meant to be there. But to no avail.
.
..
...
Many years have passed since that day, and our Archaeologist has since moved up to greater tasks. But in its heart, it still remembers that, the reply that didn't came. Maybe it was lost, maybe that cute mare went south again, maybe the next messenger took an arrow to the knee and couldn't come... the answer will never be know. But each year, the Archaeologist will be still be there. Waiting for the day somepony will remember. And keeping company to Moon Dancer in the meantime.
With those words, the bard closes its book, and quietly leaves the tavern. As it went on, few claims to have heard a sad tune...
"If he say that he can't, then I shall reply, Hatty, badge, unicorns and rhymes, Oh, Let us know that at least you will try, Or you 'll be a true hero of the meta site.
Ponies imposes impossible tasks, Hatty, badge, unicorns and rhymes, But none more than any meta-nerd would ever ask, We must have the Twily glittering hats."
The End?
Here. As promised, this is the tale that was never meant to be told again. It is a weird tale, yes, and probably one I should simply forgot about. But I can't. Not after my co-workers came showing me that post and congratulating, before the chaos insured. Since then they have been asking where that swag went...
Destiny still owns me one SharePoint swag shirt. The size doesn't matter now. All that count is to close an old tale.
You, kind reader, now have the power to undo time. You, that have been with us since then. If you believe that that Archaeologist still deserves that shirt, just scream the name of the Child-like Emperor and let the story continue...