While it is true that too strict of standards can and do have a very negative impact on community, what you are talking about is not strict standards, but rather subjective ones. The problem is that having a community like Stack Exchange isn't possible without a degree of subjectivity in the standards. That is why the system is primarily based around the community voting and taking actions on things and moderators, in principal, only stepping in during cases where it is clear and non-subjectively a poor fit to what the community wants.
I think you have gotten yourself worked up on this and have lost track of your original concern, which, as near as I can tell, is that you feel your answer on a question was removed for not being sufficiently sourced while you believe that it was sufficiently sourced. I don't know which community this was on, but some communities are more academic in nature and thus hold to more rigorous requirements for answers. This is likely the case for your situation.
As for your commentary on suspensions, while I do understand that people want their question answered, it doesn't mean that any one website is the correct place for it. If I asked for french toast recipes on StackOverflow, my question is rightfully going to be closed as nobody wants to answer there. Sure I still have a question, but no matter how many times I ask it, it still is going to get the same response.
The point of suspending someone isn't to hurt them or punish them, it is supposed to be to show them that they need to learn how to be a constructive member of the community if they want to get answers. It is also to protect the community that is acting within the guidelines from unproductive disruptions. If 95% of questions on stack overflow were about cooking recipes, then how would you sort through them all to find programing questions that you are interested in answering or learning from?
The goal is always that people will become productive members of the site, but the community also needs to protect itself from disruption. As you say, it is something that needs to be carefully balanced, but I'm not seeing how it is out of balance in the cases you've mentioned.