Does Stack Exchange insist on a special language for posts? Please describe

Question

Reading a bit about recent Monica Cellio related posts, I am afraid that I may be using a language that is a lot like English, but might not be the Stack-Exchange-approved version of English. For example, my English has had a certain gender-neutral pronoun in living use for centuries. That pronoun is used throughout the literature written in this version of English. It is used in the English I was taught as a grammar school student and later as a graduate student working on a master's thesis. I believe that this English is good enough to communicate about topics relevant to the various Stack Exchange sites.

The last thing I want from Stack Exchange is to be booted out because I slip up and accidentally use the language that has served me so well for a lifetime.

The topics discussed on Stack Overflow (I almost referred to it as a "sister site;" would that have been allowed? "mother site?" Good thing I didn't?) are often centered on languages which have formal descriptions.

Where is the formal description of the language that is to be used on Stack Exchange?

Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm.

He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.

Answer 1

English is a living language; it changes slowly but constantly. Old words take new meanings, new words replace old, and sometimes old uses resurface in new contexts. Also, sometimes there are emoji.

We gather together here from across the earth, bringing with us myriad notions of language and meaning. Our purpose is to share knowledge with one another; language can both facilitate this and get in the way. The English of one is not always the English of another.

Our Code of Conduct states,

We don’t tolerate any language likely to offend or alienate people based on race, gender, sexual orientation, or religion — and those are just a few examples. When in doubt, just don’t.

In other words: if we know the recipient of our message will likely be offended by what we write, then we know not to write it. If we're unsure, we should still not write. But how can we be sure?

We each know of some language that is almost guaranteed to offend. But many things are offensive to those of one particular culture or background and yet innocuous to others. It is natural then to wonder how we can ever hope not to offend... And, per that Code, we should thus never write at all, preferring to remain idle, locked in a prison of our own doubt.

Years ago, one of my colleagues wrote some useful advice on unlocking this prison:

one of the most important things is that language is not something you bring to the table yourself, but it's something you share with your audience

Every post, every sentence, is a stab into the dark, an effort to communicate without knowing how what we write will be understood. To communicate successfully then, we must do more than just write - we must also be willing to listen!

If we're writing for an unknown audience - say, posting a PHP question on Stack Overflow - then we should read other PHP posts first, to see how those authors prefer to communicate. They may not represent our actual audience, but they show us how others have been successful in what we are about to attempt.

If we're writing for a known audience - say, a reply to a comment - then we should pay attention to how that author prefers to communicate.

And if such an author expresses discomfort with something we say, or the way in which we say it... Then we should adjust how we write for them going forward.

Surely we can apply these guides to anything, from pronouns to cuss words!

If each of us can do this, then we can get along, work together, and enjoy the benefits of each others' knowledge... Even as the language which is the foundation of our work continues to change beneath our feet.

There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour.

Answer 2

Where is the formal description of the language that is to be used on Stack Exchange?

I don't think there is one. There is only the Code of Conduct, which does not contain a formal description and there are moderator actions, which are probably based on these guidelines and their personal threshold. I would also say, that a formal description would be too difficult to create as it would have to deal with all the subtle properties of the Language like irony, sarcasm, metaphors, ..

If you are concerned about the way how to say something I would say that writing in a descent, civil manner should be sufficient, i.e. no swearing, no rude or derogatory terms, ...

But that's not everything. What you say matters even more than how you say it. Otherwise "Sorry to see you go" would be a fine, satisfactory response in all cases.

Even with the best words, one can inflict harassment or personal attacks. It's kind of difficult to collect all the cases that are not nice and even the Code of Conduct doesn't try that, but the general idea boils down to being nice or something similar.

I guess that moderators who are kind of the guardians of the Language used on the site, have implicitly some kind of internal, probabilistic model of what shouldn't be said. It is probably very complex but it's probably also centered around extreme cases. Most users won't fall in this category.

I always imagine that we are all sitting around a campfire with some drinks in our hands and casually chat about this and that among friends. Of course in real life that's not the case. That's why the common denominator and base of everything is civility, decency and the call to be nice. Most people know by themselves what's right or wrong and mostly they should simply ask themselves: "How do I want to be treated?".

Thankfully, rumored important changes of the Code of Conduct have not yet entered into force or have even been publicized, so I don't need to include them here, but if it happens, I might need to update this answer.

To summarize: If you say something be nice and when you say it, say it in a decent, civil manner. That should guarantee you a high chance of not being booted.

It seems to be custom in this question to end a contribution with a quote. Let me put something showing that language is more than the subject of Codes of Conducts. It's beauty and art and when I was finally able to fully appreciate it in my English lessons, I was blown away.

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.